Written by Auntie Jean

Saturday, 20 September 2014

image for Plan To Celebrate Scottish Independence By Putting Midget On The Moon Backfires
A midget step for mankind?

A surprise plan to celebrate Scottish Independence by putting the female half of The Krankies on the moon backfired yesterday when it was realised that the intention had been to put the proposed Scottish Emblem, a swarm of midges, not midgets there. The typing error was discovered at T-30 seconds, when a final check for launch at Cape Salmond was carried out.

A hive of "super-agressive" Scottish midges was substituted for the original payload just in time for a second launch window, but the catapult powered capsule exploded on take off. "The midge symbol, due to replace the thistle after the ill-fated Independence bid will not now be used out of respect for the dead midges families." Prince Philip of Glasgow told our Scottish Failure reporter this morning. "Scotland narrowly missed losing a Krankie", said the new Prince, a lifelong fan of The Krankies circus act.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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