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Funny satire stories about Scottish independence

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Funny story: Empress Nicola tempts London Mayor with Scottish Guile

Empress Nicola tempts London Mayor with Scottish Guile

The First Minister of Scotland and SNP leader, Nicola Sturgeon, bent on securing yet another referendum north of the border, is attempting to lure the Mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, into her lair. In an interview with the BBC, the most prominent Hig...

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Funny story: New England/Scotland Partnership

New England/Scotland Partnership

Politicians in London emerged from the basement at 10 Downing Street after spending 3 weeks sequestered in a marathon brainstorming session to contrive a scheme to quash the Scottish rebellion and subjugate them with draconian punitive measures. T...

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Funny story: Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Secret Cache Of Bagpipes Found After Tip Off

Stopping short of total surrender, the treaty signed by pro Scottish Independence clan chiefs after the referendum defeat included a clause dealing with the decommissioning of bagpipes and the handing over of them to dangerous musical instrument dum...

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Funny story: Is MI6 Punishing Scotland With "Weather Bombs"?

Is MI6 Punishing Scotland With "Weather Bombs"?

U.K. James Bond centre, MI6 was alleged by conspiracy theorists this morning to be behind a jetstream propelled "Weather Bomb" hitting the West of Scotland today. An ex Q department scientist, Dennis Llewellyn-Dyson told our Unlikely Conspiracy Depa...

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Funny story: Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

Government Approves Adding Chemicals to Scottish Water Supplies

The systematic addition of chemicals to Scottish water supplies is to resume to keep rebellion levels down. Additional chemical dosing will continue in keeping with pre-referendum Westminster policy, effectively maintaining a docile disposition in th...

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Funny story: Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Cameron reveals Scotland was adopted when it was a child

Shocking revelations have risen from inside Whitehall, where today Prime Minister David Cameron revealed to all that Scotland was adopted when it was a very early age. "It gives me no pleasure to reveal that Scotland was an orphan country when we fo...

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Funny story: Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Scottish Money Amnesty - Notes Can Be Exchanged At Banks from Tomorrow

Scottish £5 £10 and £50 notes no longer required after the failed Independence bid may be handed in or posted to banks for free exchange for real money, a spokesperson for the Exchequer said this morning. The notes, notoriously difficult to purch...

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Funny story: Windfall Tax On Scots After They Are Tricked Into Revealing Scotland's Assets

Windfall Tax On Scots After They Are Tricked Into Revealing Scotland's Assets

Chancellor Georgie MacOsbourne was today jubilant after accountants totted up Scotland's declared wealth. An immediate windfall tax has been approved of £100 per year per Scottish person. The normally canny and some say downright mean Scottish peo...

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Funny story: Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Thousands Of Scots Didn't Know They Were Part Of U.K. Until Referendum

Referendum exit poll results have revealed that most Scots only realised that they were part of the U.K. when they read the referendum question. Traumatised voters were yesterday reported to be queuing up in their thousands for post traumatic str...

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Funny story: Plan To Celebrate Scottish Independence By Putting Midget On The Moon Backfires

Plan To Celebrate Scottish Independence By Putting Midget On The Moon Backfires

A surprise plan to celebrate Scottish Independence by putting the female half of The Krankies on the moon backfired yesterday when it was realised that the intention had been to put the proposed Scottish Emblem, a swarm of midges, not midgets there.

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Funny story: Queen Demands Alex Salmond's Head On A Pike

Queen Demands Alex Salmond's Head On A Pike

Despite carrying letters of safe conduct and passage to England, former Scottish first minister Alex Salmond was handed over to English soldiers at Robroyston near Glasgow late Friday night and has been transported to London on the orders of Queen El...

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Funny story: Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

Russians Plan Invasion Of Scotland If They Secede!

The Russians have taken a keen interest in the vote for Scottish secession from Britain. Maybe too keen an interest. The British MI6 has picked up information that seems to point to the Russians invading Scotland should the 'Yes' vote on independe...

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Funny story: US numerologists predict Scots Nationalists will lose by 911,000 votes

US numerologists predict Scots Nationalists will lose by 911,000 votes

New York - Number crunchers at a hush-hush US federal agency are betting on making a shedload of $$$s out of Thursday's Scottish independence vote. At odds of 911/1 with online spread betting site Aintgottaprayer.con their million bucks punt says...

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Funny story: New Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence

New Year Celebrations To Last Until The Following Christmas Every Year After Scottish Independence

New Year celebrations in Scotland will last at least into March and probably through to Christmas each year in a stealthy plan by Scottish Nationalists to boost Whiskey Sales and T.V. advertising revenue. New Year, one of Scotland's most popular...

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Funny story: Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

Royal Family Unhappy With The Scottish "Mess" - Drastic Action Needed - Prince Philip

In an unprecedented attack on the state of the Scottish coastline, Prince Philip told a meeting of Cartographers that Prince Charles had drawn up plans to Polyfill the crevices and uneven edges around the Scottish Coastline so that it would look neat...

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Funny story: Hull to get Independence Referendum and break away from the UK

Hull to get Independence Referendum and break away from the UK

Hot on the heels of the Scottish Referendum, which makes a change from being hot on the heels of shoplifters from the Prospect Shopping Centre, Hull has declared that it is aiming to gain independence from the remainder of what's left of the UK. A...

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Funny story: Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

Scottish Vote - North Of England Plead "Please Don't Leave Us With This Bloody Lot"

The North of England is said to be inconsolable after polls have indicated that Scotland will be leaving them. A spokesperson for Northern England told our reporter this morning "England will be a funny shape, has no-one thought of that? Also a f...

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