Roy of the Poolers, the Bastian of the Kop!!

Funny story written by SpoofyDoofy

Tuesday, 19 October 2010

image for Roy of the Poolers, the Bastian of the Kop!!
Roy of the Poolers "Ferry across the Mersey, 'cause this land's the place I love, and here I'll stay!!"

The KOP, This was ANFIELD, Liverpool: Despite losing to their local rivals Everton and being second to bottom of the Premier League, Roy of the Poolers refuses to panic, as noted in his recent statement;

    "I don't think it is a crisis. I thought the way we played today was not the level of a team in the bottom three but six points from eight games is a very poor return," he said. "We need to start winning to climb the table and until we do the word 'crisis' will continue to be bandied around."

Asked if his side had been outplayed by Everton, Roy of the Poolers said;

    "That's very unfair. We suffered at the hands of an early onslaught which you invariably do at Goodison but towards the end of the first half we started to even things out.

    "From what I saw I thought we dominated the second half totally. I thought the shape of the team was good today, the quality of our passing and movement was good. We didn't score goals and Everton did but I refuse to accept that we were in any way outplayed or any way inferior.

    "I watched the performance and the second half was as good as I saw a Liverpool team play under my management, that is for sure."

Some members of the Kop don't agree with Roy of the Poolers assessment. Rav the Bastion of The Kop scribes;

    "How did the team lose 2-0 when they played as well as they did?", "How can life be so cruel", F***ING CLUELESS F***NUT - F*** OFF NOW!"

José Manuel Reina another the Bastion of The Kop explains the dilemma;

    "Some of the worst football played by a Liverpool team for years.
    Beaten at HOME to Northampton Town.
    Beaten at HOME to Blackpool.
    Drew at HOME to Sunderland.
    Outplayed in almost EVERY game played so far this season.
    19 in the league.
    Christian Poulsen
    Paul Konchesky
    Thanks Roy of the Poolers!
    Liverpool Football Club SECOND FROM BOTTOM?
    8 games or not, Roy of the Poolers HAS TO GO and NOW, RIGHT F***ING NOW."

REDAL79, another Bastion of the Kop fires off this salvo;

    "If Roy of the Poolers had any wit, then Roy of the Poolers would call it a day, never going to work. I said I would give Roy of the Poolers a chance and he's had it. Every single game has been s**t with not one encouraging sign to take any kind of heart from. Roy of the Poolers please go!"

Ajay by the Bosphorus, another Bastion of the Kop, is more expressive;

    "Bye, bye, Roy of the Poolers, you clueless geriatric. Pathetic management. Just stands there doing nothing. And that whole "10 minutes" thing at the end was just embarassing."

An overweight ugly Bastion of of the Kop writes from his heart;

    "Awful, yet again. Roy of the Poolers is making it VERY difficult for me to continue supporting him. Ive taken a bit of stick from people for suggesting Roy of the Poolers deserves the season at least, but my argument looks very weak when we are constantly getting clueless perfomances from the Manager.

    If Rafa was here still we would NOT be where we are, I'd suggest we would be up alongside Spurs at the very least. Although thats a can of worms I know, I've heard people suggest otherwise which is scandalous. (And clueless from said people). AT least we won the most important battle of the week."

Macca, another Bastion of of the Kop writes questioningly;

    "Eight of the five matches, Roy of the Poolers has been satisfied with the performance. And we're 19th! Dread to think what will happen when we underperform then. Laughable stuff."

The latest news is that Liverpool are preparing to replace manager Roy of the Poolers with Galatasaray boss Frank Rijkaar! Galatasaray are about to sack Frank Rijkaar for being useless!!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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