Liverpool - (Balls-Up and Bigfootie Mess): A South Carolina comedy writer has been horribly impugned by a leading UK weekend redtop over use of his private jet.
Investigative satirist Morse - whose Offside Developments Corp recently paid £300 million for Liverpool Footbore Club - has been accused of hiring out his Cessna Fokker Scramjet to the CIA's sasquatch - er...snatchsquad! - program.
It is claimed Mr Morse received loadsa cash from the transaction for the systematic abduction and transfer of suspects.
These alleged villains had apparently rubbished US politicians accused of merciless humbug, spin and bollox-peddling during the Iraq conflict.
Earlier this year Morse's specially adapted Scramjet was seen in the Kabulshit area of Afghanistan during Al Gore's seminal goodwill visit to spread global warming fear among the natives.
Human Frights Groups probers who stowed away on a number of journeys said this weekend they feared the CIA's Mile High Club division had been screwing around with dissidents at an altitude of 30,000 feet.
Although no Rooneys or Beckhams had been invovled in this take on the Beautiful Game Mr Morse nevertheless may have been horribly impugned by association.
"I very much hope that Mr Morse's moral fiber has not been damaged by this outrageous bullshit business," an Oasis Bar & Grille source said today.