Exultant Liverpool fans are busy learning the words of the team's new theme song: 'A Slow Boat to China' so they can tell their Chinese owners 'what you mean to me.'
Steven Gerrard told me on a crackling line from Canton that he couldn't be happier. 'The team have already been learning the Chinese lingo and have mastered Chow Mein and Noodles already.'
Everton supporters, meanwhile, have been making unhelpful suggestions that the Anfield crowd will be infected with Fried Lice.
With the season fast approaching Liverpool are ready for the challenge to win the Premier League. It is thought that their Chinese bosses will be particulary keen to see Liverpool master the American side Manchester United, whose new strip will show Manchester City that they are another Continent.
Not to be outdone Arsenal have decided to throw in their lot with France and Madame Sarkorsy has promised to give the whole team a lovely French Kiss if they overcome the opposition.
English Football is fast becoming the ideal place to invest big money and several teams are keen on attracting Spanish owners. Italy is also rumored to be on the lookout. Chelsea are playing it cool at the moment, with rivalry between German sausages, Spanish paella and Italian spaghetti increasing their bargaining power.
Watch out for a fantastic season ahead for English fans who will have an exciting diet of dishes from all over the world to choose from.
