Sparky Plots Raid On Man City Squad

Funny story written by Herr Riballs

Friday, 30 July 2010

New Fulham boss, Mark Hughes, is reported this morning to be on a revenge mission to plunder the entire Manchester City squad.

The Welsh bitter Welshman, from Wales, is said to be still smarting from his shock sacking to make way for Italian smoothie Roberto Mancini and now has his sights set on dismantling his former club.

It has emerged that Hughes, affectionately known as Hughesy or Sparky, has plans to buy the entire City first team with prolific scorer Roque Santa Cruz heading his wanted list.


Billionaire Abu Dhabi chairman, Sheikh N'Vac said "Mark wants to build a team of only players that were born in Wales or that he has played alongside or managed. That is his selection criteria. He's the gaffer so he makes the decisions." He added "We looked at taking Adebayor and Tevez but sadly there was no Welsh ancestry."

Old boys network

Hughes dismissed reports that he only signs old pals or Welsh people but it is understood his first signings of the new campaign are to be Taffy Morgan, 54, Jesper Olson, 62, and Eric 'The Viking' Cantona, 58.

However, it is the imminent arrival of '6 goals a game' Santa Cruz that has got the Welsh Wizard fired up.


Meanwhile, the player himself is said to be living in fear. Speaking from his PANIC ROOM Santa Cruz said "Twice I've escaped the clutches of Hughes and now he's stalking me again. I'm like a prisoner in my own home." Tearfully he went on "It's not just what he says about me in the papers. He hangs around outside my house, sends letters, makes silent phone calls. I know it's him."


Santa Cruz added "When I've not been injured I've purposely played sh*t to escape his radar. I've deliberately put in abject performances and tried to look totally disinterested. I've even slotted wide from 2 yards out. These tactics clearly haven't worked so perhaps I shouldn't use tactics in future. Tactics confuse him as we saw at City."

Santa Cruz has since changed his identity and flew back to Paraguay.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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