Written by Charles Letterman

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

image for Liverpool awarded 2009 Champions League Cup!

In a sensational and unprecedented move last night UEFA announced that they have decided to award Liverpool this year's Champions League.

Speaking after Liverpool's heroic and tragic 7-5 aggregate defeat to Chelsea, UEFA President Michel Platini said, "For Liverpool the underdogs to go to Stamford Bridge and actually try and win the tie by scoring some goals was incredible. Although he wasn't playing, Steve Gerrard had much to do with last night's performance, and he was my man of the match. I really feel sorry that the result didn't go Liverpool's way, and have decided to use my powers to ensure that they are rewarded for their efforts. Too often football is about Liverpool's opposition scoring more goals than them."

The cup will be presented to Liverpool before their next home match, and will be their second piece of silverware this season, after Manchester United and Chelsea were told by the FA to concede the Premiership title to the Merseysiders.

In a separate story, an ITV sports commentator and two 'pundits' went missing after last night's tie. Police are following up reports that they were last seen right up Rafael Benitez's arse.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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