Written by Lightning Conductor

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

image for Hitman sent home early from Stamford Bridge!
Bransko pictured after receiving a call from Roman. His still to be disassembled Sniper's rifle is in the background

Bransko Branskovich, mysterious Chelsea Director of Security, Discipline & Respect was tonight sensationally sent home early by owner Roman Abramovich.

Bransko was last seen heading for the tube at Fulham Broadway with his violin case under his arm moaning that "he'd been robbed of his chance to show what he could do"!

"Mr Abramovich told me that as the players had suddenly fought back and started scoring goals I could go home," hissed the obviously emotional disciplinarian.

"I was gonna "Whack 'Fat Frank' and 'Mad Mickey Ballack' to improve morale," he muttered as he struggled with his Oyster card.

When I asked what Mr. Abramovich was like, Branskovich shrugged, stopping only to say, "He's a typical Russian, you know, a puzzle, within a riddle, wrapped in an enigma kind of guy."

"The boss says "I can still give Drogba a dead leg in the morning" that's cheered me up no end," he beamed.

"Now I'm going home to give my wife some 'flowerziz'," he whispered whilst winking in a sinister fashion as he vanished down the escalator.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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