Olympic President Pissed Off With Usain Bolt

Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 21 August 2008

image for Olympic President Pissed Off With Usain Bolt
A large, black gangly object

IOC President, Jacques Rogge, has expressed his displeasure with Olympic sprint champion Usain Bolt, saying he has been disrespectful to other athletes by celebrating in a manner "totally inappropriate" for a man who has just broken two world records.

Bolt, who won both the 100m and 200m sprints, danced like a "demented chicken" after both races, and, according to Rogge, removed his shorts to expose:

"a large, black gangly object"

The president has said he will speak to Bolt privately about his behaviour, and has said that any repeat of his antics after the 4x100m Relay on Sunday could result in a possible disqualification and a lifetime ban.

Said the president:

"He is uncivilised like a savage. His behaviour is not in the spirit of the Olympics as set down by Baron de Coubertin. It's an insult to the other also-rans."

Bolt was unavailable for comment, performing, as he was, a demented chicken dance.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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