Olympiad Puts the Red Back in Red China!

Written by Pointer

Thursday, 21 August 2008

image for Olympiad Puts the Red Back in Red China!
The whole world will be watching the Tiananmen Tank Ordeal as a new Olympic event

The western hope that the Olympics would help democratize communist China has proven to be an opium pipe dream.

As the Olympic Games have drawn closer and closer, China has become closed-er and closed-er. Repression of Tibet has increased. Silencing of human rights activists has heightened. Chinese and now western journalists have met the sharp Chinese cleaver of censorship and limited internet resources. Now even cuisine is being controlled as the traditional Chinese delicacy of dog is banned from Beijing menus.

Some of these developments may have been predictable since all nations tighten security as the Olympics come to town. But who thought the following would have been caused by a Chinese Olympiad:

Fencing must now be conducted without swords. Wet noodles will be supplied by the Chinese Olympic committee. The pole vault can use no larger than 5 foot poles to prevent Chinese athletes from escaping. The steeplechase will now feature the Beijing pollution hazard where competitors get lost in the smog. The marathon will be conducted in 26 miles and 345 feet of green pollution. The hot dog will not contain any real canine by products unlike in the USA .The boating events will require navigation through algae disguised water mine fields.

Finally the Tiananmen tank ordeal will be introduced as a new Olympic event.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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