After Erling Haaland Injury, Prem Teams Surprised Gap Not Closing With Man City

Funny story written by Uncle DD

Saturday, 1 April 2023

image for After Erling Haaland Injury, Prem Teams Surprised Gap Not Closing With Man City
Ha Ha Ha Haaland!!!

Manchester, England – It’s another day and another dollar (or .81 pound sterling conversion rate for today’s market, if you want to get technical) victory for the home team Man City (if you’re actually in Manchester in the UK right now) over a lesser opponent.

To insiders like me the victory was no surprise but other EPL teams from shore to shore and coast to coast and even from the tip-tip-tippity-top to the tip-tip-tippity-arse of the gray isle are rising up in arms, yelling over the hams and cow shit pastures and countrysides, ‘Fo fox sakes, that wus they star goin’ down a might ways back! What da folk!’

It’s true. The fact must be faced that the Cityzens lost their star.

But don’t tell Burnley that Man's star is their only quality goal scorer. To the average rather uninformed football individual (not me of course), Haaland going down in the 64th minute of a four goal deficit might have spelled a comeback opportunity for the away team. Burnley certainly thought so. An upper football exec was quoted as betting 10k quid (is that a lot of money?) immediately after the injury, saying, ‘Fo fox sakes, we’ll jolly get back up on this folkin’ team now.’ The final match result was 6-nil.

Man City went out today and busted up Liverpool 4-1. Someone from Liverpool’s coaching staff after the game was quoted as saying, ‘Fo fox sakes, our original strategy was to neutralize number 9. After we discovered that there was no number 9 playing today, then we had no strategy.’

What will Man City need to do to prove to the world that they’re not just a one man show? Fo fox sakes if I know…

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot