GLENDALE, Arizona - (Super Bowl Satire) - Music critics all over the world agree that on a scale of 1 to 10, Rhianna's halftime Super Bowl performance was less than memorable at 1.3.
For one thing, since she's 8¼ months pregnant she wore 19 pounds of clothes to hide her baby bumpski.
She also performed with the energy of a sleepy turtle. One music critic said that the Caribbean cutey could have phoned in her performance for all the excitement she showed.
Some did agree that her harmonica playing was ok, even though she did hit some off-key notes, notably in her songs "Who Took My Umbrella?" Ugly Rude Bro," "We Found Crotch Love," and "What's My Name Cunt."
SIDENOTE: After seeing her lackluster Super Bowl performance, the Pyramid Lounge and Gambling Casino in Las Vegas has cancelled her summer appearance.
