INGLEWOOD, California – (Sports Satire) – There has been a lot of concern at SoFi Stadium, home of this year’s Super Bowl, regarding a rumor that has been found to be unfounded.
Super Bowl Assistant Executive Vice-Director of Concessionary Food, Myron P. Dilldawitz, 62, states emphatically that they have tested, and tested, and retested their hog dogs and they are 105% safe, and Covid-20 free.
Dilldawitz, commented that, as everyone knows full well, there is no such thing as Covid-20. So he stresses that, the rumor is rumorless as well as baseless, as well as just a fucking lie perpetuated by some low-life, scum-sucking disgruntled douche bag.
SUPER BOWL FACT: The Super Bowl officials want the public to know that this year security will be provided by members of the Green Berets, the Navy Seals, the Army Rangers, the Texas Rangers, with follow-up security being provided by motorcycle gang members of the Hells Angels and the Bandidos.
