TIJUANA, Mexico - (Sports Satire) - The man who is considered to be "The Tom Brady of Bullfighting" returned back into the bullfight arena, after a serious goring he received back on June, 25 in Laredo, Spain, as he fought a bull in the city's Generalisimo Francisco Franco Bullring.
Sportsapalooza writer Pia Confetti, who is an avid bullfight enthusiast, was in in the arena, when Joaquin Beauregard Gazpacho made his much-awaited return.
The Pancho Villa Commemorative Bullring was totally sold out and there was standing room only.
The bullfight arena concession stands ran out of tacos, guacamole, tamales, Corona Extra Beer, hot sauce, Dos Equis Beer, chips con queso, Papaya Margaritas, and "El Gazpacho" Souvenir Bobblehead Dolls, before his second match.
Celebrities that were spotted in the crowd included Eva Longoria, Jose Altuve, Taylor Swift, Billy Gibbons, who is the lead singer and lead guitar player for ZZ Top, Lady Gaga, Yo Yo Afro Woke, British singer Cheryl Cole, and President and Mrs. Joe Biden.
The handsome, brave-as-hell bullfighter defeated his first bull named "El Toro Locotote," in 8 minutes and 17 seconds.
His second fight was against a bull named after the famed Colombian singer/belly dancer, "Senor Shakira," and it lasted a little longer at 11 minutes and 4 seconds.
And "Gazpy's final opponent was a bull with the unlikely name, "Bullshit Numero 2," which took 13 minutes and 57 seconds to defeat.
SIDENOTE: "El Gazpacho" was thrilled to be back in the bullring and the mayor of Tijuana, the gorgeously sexy Montserrat "La Muchacha Chula" Caballero presented him with the keys to the city.
