El Gazpacho, The World’s Greatest Matador Sells Out Two Bullfights in Madison Square Garden in 13 Minutes

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 13 June 2021

image for El Gazpacho, The World’s Greatest Matador Sells Out Two Bullfights in Madison Square Garden in 13 Minutes
El Gazpacho is known as the Tom Brady of Bullfighting. (Photo courtesy of Rico Chorizo).

NEW YORK CITY – (Sports Satire) – The Sports Bet Gazette has just made it known that the world's greatest bullfighter, has sold out two bullfighting performances at New York’s Madison Square Garden in a record-setting 13 minutes.

The Barcelona-born, Joaquin Beauregard Gazpacho stated that he is as happy as a rooster at an egg-laying hen convention.

The living legend said that he is honored that the New York City Rockettes will be his opening act.

He noted that the general manager of the Madison Square Garden will be importing 18 metric tons of sand from Malibu Beach, California for the arena bullfight ring.

El Gazpacho also pointed out that six fighting bulls will be imported from El Rancho De Los Toros Malos Ranch, which is located outside of Elm City in the Mexican state of Aguascalientes.

Gazpy, as his sexy wife calls him, smiled when he pointed out that these fighting bulls are the meanest, angriest, most bitter bulls in the entire Republic of Mexico.

When he was asked what makes them so mean, angry, and bitter, he took a drink of his Diet Dr. Pepper, and remarked that these bulls are raised on a strict diet of blue maze corn, reconstituted pico de gallo, Tabasco sauce, chili powder, jalapeno juice, Tijuana hot sauce, and Habanero-flavored guacamole.

The bullfighting spectacle will be shown live on ESPN-7, The Animal Channel, MTV, and Univision.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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