The St. Louis Cardinals and The New York Mets Brawl After a Mets Batter is Hit in The Head With Sunflower Seeds

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 30 April 2022

image for The St. Louis Cardinals and The New York Mets Brawl After a Mets Batter is Hit in The Head With Sunflower Seeds
MLB fined every Cardinal's player that participated in the brawl $2,000 and every Met's player $700.

ST. LOUIS - (Sports Satire) - The New York Mets organization has filed a written complaint stating three different Cardinal pitchers are purposely throwing sunflower seed-laden balls at opposing batters.

Sports Territory Magazine writer Tango Brisket spoke with Mets manager Mickey Callaway, who was angrier than a whore with a yeast infection.

He told Brisket that this sunflower-seed throwing by the Cards has got to stop and stop immediately before some batter gets a sunflower seed in his crotch region, which could cause a pubic infection known as Crotchatosis Ipsoyucitis.

The Mets manager noted that the Cardinal pitchers are using a trick where they adhere a sunflower seed (or sometimes two) to the baseball and then throw it as usual.

Meanwhile Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob "The Man Cave" Manfred has stated that he is going to be conducting a very thorough investigation into the out-of-control matter.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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