ALLIGATOR NUTS, Florida - (Sports Satire) - NASCAR babe and Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodger's girlfriend Danica Patrick, has just informed the NASCAR fans about a brand new racing update that will take affect very soon.
The svelte Danica Patrick, who pound for pound, is one of the greatest NASCAR racers of all-time, spoke with Sporting Chance Magazine senior writer Hercules Confetti at a local Plastered Platypus Lounge.
The 40-year-old racing MILF had several shots of El Matador Tequila, while Confetti had several bottles of Coors Light, which he chased with shots of Johnny Walker Red.
The two, who are both lovers of stock car racing, talked about the fact that Russia is getting her communistic ass kicked big time by the Ukrainian army.
Danni and Hercules also chatted about the huge amount of hats that England's Queen Eizabeth owns.
Hercules revealed, tongue-in-cheek, that he has always had a huge, statue of liberty type crush on her (DP).
Miss Patrick smiled erotically, as she pointed out that she is thrilled to report that NASCAR has finally gotten their shit together, and effective immediately their new policy will have all NASCAR races doing away with the old, universal, and boring counter clockwise racing of left, left, left, and will adopt the new more enjoyable and practical clockwise racing of right, right, right. ■