GREEN BAY, Wisconsin - (Satire News) - Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers reportedly told his ex-NASCAR driver girlfriend, Danica Patrick, to please not send him anymore texts.
According to Sporting Chance Magazine's Hercules Confetti, the former race car driver usually sends Aaron about 13 text messages on a daily basis.
Rodgers said that sometimes it's just a simple smiley face emoji, or other times it's a pair of big red lips, and sometimes she'll text him an emoji of an eggplant.
Aaron told Confetti that yes, he still has some feelings for Danica, deep down in the vicinity of his groin region, but he then adds that their relationship just turned into too much of a soap opera drama; with Danica telling him every night that they really need to get hitched before some other guy asks her first.
Info guro Andy Cohen spoke to three of Miss Patrick's former boyfriends and they all said that they were surprised that Aaron dropped her because the petite, svelte, beautiful young gal gave the best (blank) jobs of any woman all of them had ever dated.
One of Danica's ex-suitors even remarked that she could have sex romp sessions that could last for up to three hours without batting an eye, or breaking out in a sweat.
Meanwhile, Cohen stated that Danica plans to keep her "Aaron is a Stud" tattoo she had put on her bikini line on Valentine's Day of 2021.
