CHICAGO – (Sports Satire) – In one of the most amazing professional boxing matches ever, a petite female boxer from Hackensack, New Jersey, has knocked out a huge boxer from Detroit.
The Sports Bet Gazette’s Woody Velcro, who attended the match, held at the Carburetor Arena, said that it was the most amazing spectacle that he has seen in his 37 years of covering boxing matches.
The little bitty 107-pound boxer named Shannon Riggatori, 27, defeated 229-pound boxer Vinnie “The Fist” Frickaletti, 29, by knocking him out 53 seconds into the first round.
Shannon hit Vinnie with a 1-2-3-4 thunder and awe combination, which sent "The Fist" to the campus in a world of pain. Shannon's record now improves to 24-0.
Frickaletti is ranked #9 in the nation, whereas Riggatori is ranked #203.
Meanwhile Vinnie's record is now 31-1.
SIDENOTE: Woody Velcro noted that Frickaletti’s manager said that Vinnie is so fucking embarrassed that he has been placed on suicide watch and he may not fight for a full year.
