SAN ANTONIO – (Sports Satire) – Our Lady of The Lake met Our Lady of The Swamp in the 29th Annual Womens Bingo Bowl at The George Strait Stadium, before an enthusiastic crowd of 87,307 fans.
Our Lady of The Swamp, which is located in Ponchatoula, Louisiana, was favored by 17 points, but they were upset 57-3, by the gals from Our Lady of The Lake, which is located in San Antonio.
The two teams play in the US Catholic Womens Football League (USCWFL), which is comprised of 31 colleges and universities, including last year’s Womens Bingo Bowl winner, Our Lady of The Aftershocks, located in downtown San Francisco.
The Cowgirls led the Saints at halftime by a score of 51-3. At the start of the second half Cowgirls Head Coach Pandora "Baby Doll" Cyprus, pulled out all of her starters and put in the second string players.
The Saints held the Cowgirls to only two field goals in the entire second half, but the Louisiana Cajun and Creole girls could not score and never even got to the Cowgirls 20 yard line.
Saints quarterback Myra DuMishafelli, had to leave the game when she was hit on her hoohareena (muffin) by Cowgirls defensive end Bixie Bellfux, who stands 6-foot-6 and weighs 292.
Second string Saints quarterback Lululita Sombrero, who hails from Samoa, and weighs 303, entered the game, and she ended up accidentally kicking Bellfux in her rectalosus buttititus (asshole) and Fuxie, as her coach and teammates call her, had to leave the game.
Reports are that Fuxie will be fine, but she’ll have to wear her 6 pound butt cast for 8 weeks.■