TIJUANA, Mexico – (Sports Satire) – Mexico’s Las Maracas News Agency, has just informed the bullfighting public, that effective immediately, all bulls participating in bullfights will be required to be vaccinated against the Delta Dawn Virus.
A spokesperson for the Mexican Bullfighting Federation, Julio Cinco de Mayo, 37, remarked that even though the fighting bull breeders don’t like the new mandate, they know that it is meant to protect the health and well-being of the matadors, the fans, and even the taco vendors.
Mexico’s extremely popular matador “El Muchacho Macho,” who just turned 26, remarked that he is thrilled about the new bull vaccination policy because he says that now he will no longer have to wear a mask, keep a 6-foot distance from the bulls, or refrain from eating bull burritos.
Meanwhile, one of bullfighting's biggest fans, actress Eva Longoria says that she is very happy about the new bull vaccination ruling and added that she hopes everyone goes out and sees her upcoming X-rated movie, “The Fruit-Filled Sex-Life of Carmen Miranda.”
