MADRID – (Sports Satire) - Spain’s major sports network, Las Pelotas, has just named famed bullfighter Joaquin Beauregard Gazpacho as the greatest matador in all of Spain.
The fearless native of Barcelona is considered to be the Tom Brady of the bullfighting world.
When asked what he attributes his great success to, he said that he stays away from carbs, sodium, ingredients, and women of ill-repute.
He laughed and remarked that he is just kidding about the ingredients.
“El Gazpacho” told Las Pelotas that he loves to relax by watching reruns of “Rawhide”, the “Weather Channel”, and “The Housewives of Intercourse, Pennsylvania”.
A few months ago, when Spain cancelled all bullfights, Joaquin traveled to the USA and briefly played for the New York Red Bulls of Major League Soccer (MLS).
[SIDENOTE]: "El Gazpacho’s" professional bullfighting record currently stands at 602 wins, no loses, and 1 tie.