COLUMBUS, Ohio – (Sports Satire) – Reports emanating out of Columbus, state that the Ohio State Buckeyes football team may be banned for 3 years from competing in the NCAA football program.
A team insider, who did not want her name revealed, told reporter Dottie Bazooka, with Sports Balls Illustrated, that several other universities, including Clemson, BYU, and Ball State have filed restraining orders against the Buckeyes coaching department.
The complaint stated that the Ohio State opponents do not like the fact that the Buckeyes coaches continue to dole out those silly, little, round helmet stickers when an O.S. player makes a simple tackle, or simply sacks a quarterback, or easily recovers a fumble.
Miss Bazooka noted that back in 2016, a Buckeye defensive tackle was given so many stickers, he ran out of room on his helmet, and he had to start sticking them on his pants crotch cup.
He then reportedly made the Ohio State cheerleaders pay him $10 to look at the crotch stickers and $20 to take a photo of his groin cup.
A representative for the Ohio State football program asked what happens if the coaching staff refuses to stop giving out the helmet stickers.
He was told in no uncertain terms, that the school and each Buckeyes coach, player, and even the cheerleaders will be individually fined $15,000.