DALLAS – (Sports Satire) – The Cowboys have nothing to be ashamed of as they led the only undefeated team in the NFL, the Pittsburgh Steelers, all the way until the final three minutes of the game.
Cowboys 6th-string quarterback, Garrett Gilbert, who started his first game in seven years, completed pass after pass, and had Cowboys owner Jerry Jones doing somersaults up in his luxurious suite.
Jones was so excited, that a couple of times he actually fondled his wife’s 38-DD boobs.
Sports Bet Gazette reporter Hiawatha Pamplona said Jones called Gilbert at half-time, and told him that he’d find a brand new, fully loaded, Cadillac Escalade in his drive-way on Monday morning.
The quarterback asked if he could make it lavender, since that's his wife’s favorite color.
The Cowboys owner replied that he’d make it camouflage if he'd like.
Meanwhile, the Steelers are now 8-0. Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger had to leave the game twice, once with a sprained left tonsil, and the other time with a bruised right gonad.