The Manager of the Cellar-Dwelling Pittsburgh Pirates Explains Why The Team is Doing So Damn Bad

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Tuesday, 11 August 2020

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Pirates owner, Bob Nutting says he is prohibiting any player or coach from uttering the "T" word (Trump).

PITTSBURGH – (Baseball Satire) - There hasn't been much for the Pirate fans to cheer about so far this season, as their beloved team has the worst record of any Major League Baseball team.

Manager Derek “The Shelster” Shelton was asked by a reporter for CBS Sports what he attributes his teams pathetic (3-13) record to.

Shelton spit out a sunflower seed, and replied that it’s due to the fact that the team has lost a lot more games than it has won.

“Next friggin’ question.” He asked.

He was asked by a reporter for Fox Sports if he blamed the loses on hitting, fielding, pitching, mental errors, or just bad managing.

“Yes,” He shot back.

Shelton then informed the reporters that the real reason why the Bucs have such a bad record is because of President Trump.

He explained that 25% of the team supports him, and the other 75% say that he sucks the big one.

So as a result all the players are so busy arguing about politics, that they've all put baseball on the backburner.

The reporters commented in unison, “Okay, gotcha skipper.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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