Manchester United meltdown as they actually announce buying a player after 6 months wrangling!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 10 August 2020

image for Manchester United meltdown as they actually announce buying a player after 6 months wrangling!
Much too old for United, he's past his prime!

(UNEDITED) Liverpool FC, Manchester City, Arsenal, Chelsea, all manage to get their transfer deals over the line rapidly. Manchester United, are totally the opposite; wrangling, punching, in-fighting, and last minute panic deals describe the United management team during transfer periods!

Flops, Fellaini, Sanchez, Falcao, De Maria, just to name a few among many other over-the-top financial flops are proof of their non-business acumen when dealing with other clubs and players agents. The Pogba drama took 6 months, and in the interim, Liverpool and City purchased their championship winning teams, complete!

A latest Man United drama is unfolding after months and months of wrangling; no, not BVB's Sancho! They are hoping to sign a 1-year-old Brazilian toddler who can kick a ball with both feet, but the toddler's parents want £2 million quid and, Ed Woodward, United chief executive, is only willing to pay the parents £1 million!

Over-paid United scouts saw the toddler kicking the ball on the Copacabana beach and immediately told Woodward to buy him otherwise Real Madrid will snap him up for peanuts. Woodward flew to Rio, VIP style of course, and is now having an in-fight with the toddler's parents who refuse to let their super-talented child go to rainy Manchester for under £2 million.

With the transfer deadline rapidly approaching sweaty Ed Woodward has agreed to the following terms:

£150.000,00 a week when the boy hits 18.

A mansion for the parents next door to Pogba's.

$1.5 million US bucks up front.

Another million when the toddler plays for the first team, and when he represents Brazil, another £ million quid on top!

Ed Woodward is now enjoying his luxury holiday in the Bahamas and Jordan Sancho is still sweating his balls off in Dortmund!

Rest as we get it!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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