It's A Bird! It's A Plane! It's A Bat, man!

Written by Stefano M. Stefano

Thursday, 14 February 2019

During a recent basketball game between the Indiana Pacers and the Los Angeles Clippers at the Banker Life Fieldhouse Arena, a confused bat was a surprising guest star. Seen by the crowd of thousands, it swooped down and flew in erratic circles, nearly hitting several players and attendees.

"Yeah, I saw the bat, man!" a freaked-out Bobby Pecker claimed, having had a court-side seat for the strange incident. "And some joker near me tried to catch it with his bare hands! What a dummy! He'd probably get rabies or poison ivy by doing that!"

Another fan at the game, Al Brethario, told reporters, "I thought it was a robin! But, some egghead told me it was a bat! I didn't like his face and yelled back at him, 'At least I knew it wasn't a penguin, you son of a donkey!'"

The NBA Commissioner was watching the game from his stately manor in his man cave, drinking champagne and bossing his hired help around.

"They're the bane of my existence," the Commissioner moaned. "Especially, Chickita or Chapekka, or whatever her name is! She's such a two-face! Nice to me in front of the guests, but I think she's putting something bad in my morning coffee!"

A hush went over the throng of reporters as we awaited his response to the bat, but he simply started counting his money and deciding which boat to buy this week.

And finally, Bertha Craggly, a woman who owns 79 cats at home, witnessed the bat in the cavernous arena.

"Don't y'all call be a cat lady! I'm a woman! Not a cat! A woman! Maybe even a classy cat woman, but I'm not a cat lady! Too bad I couldn't catch the bat and feed it to all of my cats!"

All I can wonder is, riddle me this; where did the bat came from?

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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