Gareth Bale Has Curtailed His Spanish Lessons

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 22 November 2019

image for Gareth Bale Has Curtailed His Spanish Lessons
Bale and Zinedine Zidane at training on Monday

Real Madrid's wantaway Welsh star, Gareth Bale, has revealed he has cancelled his Spanish lessons, saying that learning the language was just too big a task.

Bale, 30, has been at Madrid for more than six years, but has only a rudimentary knowledge of Spanish, and now feels it would be a pointless waste of any more of his time persisting any longer with it, now that he is on his way out of the club.

Bale says he can count "on one hand" the number of Spanish words he knows, and these include 'si' (yes) and 'no' (no). He also knows 'gra├žias' (thank you), 'gol' (goal), and 'ole' (ole).

He's also been learning the word 'adios'.

Former Real Madrid president, Ramon Calderon, reacted to Bale's controversial banner that he displayed after Wales had beaten Hungary in midweek. It had the message:

"WALES. GOLF. MADRID. IN THAT ORDER"

"We don't if he knew what was on that banner," Calderon said, despite the inescapable fact that it was entirely in English.

Bale's agent, Jonathan Barnett, has been trying to find the player a Premier League move that would see him to the end of his career, and this may turn out to be his former club, Tottenham Hotspur, who sacked manager Mauricio Pochettino earlier this week, replacing him with Jose Mourinho.

When asked about Bale's chances of playing for Spurs, Mourinho curled his lip.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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