England In Bid To Score 10 Tomorrow Night Against Kosovo

Written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 16 November 2019

image for England In Bid To Score 10 Tomorrow Night Against Kosovo
Joe Gomez prefers the Fruit Loops

There was confidence aplenty running through the England squad this morning, as they woke up early to prepare for their 'academic' Euro 2020 qualifying game against Kosovo in Pristina on Sunday.

The corresponding fixture at The Dell, recently, ended in a 5-3 England win, but the Three Lions have already qualified, and are in a relaxed mood.

Indeed, boss Gareth Southgate was so confident, he has allowed his team to stay in England until Sunday morning, then fly to Kosovo around lunchtime.

Our reporter went to St. George's Park, during breakfast, to catch up with the situation.

Captain, Harry Kane, tucked into a bowl of Sugar Puffs, as he said:

"We want to win big for the fans. We want to score ten!"

Others were just as cocksure of themselves. Central defender, Harry Maguire, having three Weetabix, said:

"We got seven against Montenegro, and these divvies are there for the taking. I forecast 11-0."

Raheem Sterling, who is back in the team after having been dropped for his reaction to an altercation with Liverpool defender, Joe Gomez, was more playful with his choice of cereal. Slurping over a bowl of Frosties, he said:

"I want two hat-tricks. Or three. We're so grrreeeeaat! Like these Frosties."

Gareth Southgate just had a slice of toast with a cup of strong tea.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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