England Players Subjected To Barrage Of Friendliness In Kosovo

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Sunday, 17 November 2019

image for England Players Subjected To Barrage Of Friendliness In Kosovo
The England players had not prepared for friendliness

The England squad arrived in Pristina for their Euro 2020 fixture with Kosovo geared-up for a torrent of racist chanting and other unseemly behaviour, but were shocked even beyond their wildest dreams when the thousands of ruffians at the airport began cheering them and being friendly.

Gareth Southgate and his boys had expected monkey chants, bananas, and Nazi salutes, and were caught off guard as applause rang out, and several fans threw bouquets of flowers.

A huge banner declared: "WELCOME, BROTHERS!"

Some England players were not prepared for this, and wept openly.

Southgate said:

"We've come here ready for abuse of the worst kind, and we've ended up with respect, pure unadulterated love and affection, and complete camaraderie. The authorities never warned us about this. It's a disgrace!"

And Gary Lineker, speaking on the BBC, said:

"It's a shame to see. It needs nipping in the bud."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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