The Four Horsemen Of Liverpool Ride Again

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Monday, 2 September 2019

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BILLINGSGATE POST: Outlined against a blue-gray September sky, the Four Horsemen rode again. In biblical lore, they are known as Famine, Pestilence, Destruction and Death. These are only aliases. Their real names are Wood, Firmino, Mané and Alexander-Arnold. They formed the crest of the Liverpool cyclone before which another fighting Burnley football team was swept over the precipice, 3-0 at Turf Moor yesterday afternoon, as the stunned 21,760 spectators peered down on the bewildering panorama spread on the green plain below.

A cyclone can’t be snared; it may be surrounded, but somewhere it breaks through to keep on going. When the cyclone starts from Liverpool, where the candlelights still gleam, those in the way must take to storm cellars at top speed. Yesterday, the cyclone struck again, as Liverpool beat Burnley with a set of backfield stars that ripped and crashed through a strong Burnley defence with more speed and power than the Clarets could meet.

With this win, Liverpool go into the first international break as Premier League leaders after their victory at Burnley set a club record of 13 consecutive top-flight wins. Having come within a point of ending a 29-year wait for title glory last season, Jurgen Klopp and his players have simply picked up where they left off, as they seek to be crowned England's best.

While a strong start to the campaign was predicted for the champions of Europe, who, along with Manchester City, are operating at levels to which the rest of the division cannot get close, it is the way they have hurdled their obstacles that have made them appear invincible.

Slim Everdingle: “Those Dudes look like they can go all the way.”

Dirty: Yo, Dude. But when the One Great Scorer comes to write your name, He marks - not that you won or lost - but how you played the game.”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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