Would Slim Everdingle Like Manchester United To Trade Him To Real Madrid?

Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Friday, 23 August 2019

image for Would Slim Everdingle Like Manchester United To Trade Him To Real Madrid?

BILLINGSGATE POST: Manchester United appear to be getting a little bit perplexed as Slim Everdingle keeps the club guessing over his next move amid growing concerns over his contract.

The American is yet to sign a fresh new deal that would keep him at the Red Devils for the considerable future, even though he has agreed to a £350,000-a-week contract in principle. The hang up apparently revolves around Everdingle’s desire to wear his trademark uniform while goaltending.

While the rules currently allow the goaltender to wear a different colored jersey, Slim’s request to wear a white, V-neck Fruit of the Loom tee-shirt under his Dickies Easy Action Coveralls, has club officials scratching their heads.

Reports that the delay in contract talks is because the goalkeeper actually wants to move to Real Madrid, which continues to be his dream. In other words; is the uniform issue merely a ruse to squeeze more money from the Red Devils?

Los Blancos nearly signed the custodian from United on the final day of the transfer window a few years ago, but famously failed to secure the paperwork in time.

The rest, as they say, is history. Everdingle proved to be the saviour for United on multiple occasions, winning the Player of the Year award for much of the past few seasons.

But with Keylor Navas reportedly moving on in the summer transfer window, and the performance of Thibaut Courtois not up to the mark, it appears Everdingle might have a real future in Madrid.

Slim Everdingle: “I love the smell of burning paella in the morning.”

Dirty: “Yo, Dude. Beats the shit out of bangers and mash.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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