Bury Burial Is On Friday

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 21 August 2019

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Sad times at Gigg Lane

There was sadness all across Greater Manchester last night, after it was announced that the funeral of Bury F.C. is to take place this Friday, after the English Football League rules the organisation "unfit for purpose", and has it put down humanely.

Bury, 134, have played at Gigg Lane since 1885, and were soon a successful team, being promoted to the First Division in 1895, and winning the FA Cup in both 1900 and 1903.

In modern times, however, the Shakers have never amounted to more than a local novelty, although they have, for a long time, acted as what is known as a 'feeder club' for their giant neighbour, Manchester United.

After former chairman, Stewart Dale, unwisely spent large amounts of cash in trying to secure promotion to the Championship in 2017, the club went into financial ruin, which has brought Bury to its knees.

Unable to find any money growing on trees, Bury have become so mired in debt, that the EFL has decided to put it out of its misery, and the last rites will be performed at midday on Friday.

Bury F.C. will leave a fan base of around 3,000 hardcore fans.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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