Fruit Was Off

Written by Monkey Woods

Friday, 16 March 2018

image for Fruit Was Off
One of the four token and inappropriate fruit pictures supplied by Lowton

There was drama in Southeast Asia this morning when a man who had intended to eat some yellow watermelon for breakfast discovered after opening his fridge, that the fruit was off, and by some quite considerable distance!

Moys Kenwood, 47, had bought the fruit from the nearby Tang Hua Seng supermarket on Wednesday, and the label on the wrapper told him that it should have been consumed by Saturday, giving him plenty of time to enjoy the lovely, succulent treat for his breakfast.

To his horror, however, when he peeled back the clingfilm wrapper today, he found it 'all-of-a-mush', and totally unsuitable for consumption - even by a Thai!

He immediately threw the entire contents into a plastic bag in his bin, where it was hungrily gobbled-up by millions of ants who had turned up to watch.
Said Kenwood:

"I was looking forward to that! Now I'll have to content myself with waiting for the ants to fill the bag, and then pouring a kettle-load of boiling water into it! Drat!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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