Gay conversion therapy proves effective

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Sunday, 28 October 2018

image for Gay conversion therapy proves effective

Reverend Geoff Bent runs gay conversion therapy courses from his parish in Butte, Montana. Unlike his rivals, he claims a 100% success rate with his students. TheSpoof decided to investigate his methods, so I went undercover as a homosexualist to ask Reverend Bent for help.

Bent charges $100 per session, but he guarantees that, within five sessions, I will be cured. I was impressed, but then I remembered that I wasn't homosexual to begin with, so it was unlikely to work on me.

Bent's methodology is simple: he uses what he describes as "The Closet Method". Essentially, gay people are told to just lie about their sexuality, and pretend to be straight.

I struggled with the course at first, as I found myself unable to repress my non-existent gay urges. Nevertheless, by the end of the five sessions, I had managed to hide them, and was able to act like a normal straight journalist for TheSpoof.

As it turned out, all of the other students on the course were also undercover heterosexual journalists, and, unsurprisingly, we all passed with flying (non-rainbow) colours.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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