Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 26 September 2018

image for Washington Redskins Paint Visitors' Changing Rooms LGBT Rainbow Colors For Dallas Cowboys Visit
Cowboys fan Bush looking round the changing rooms

The Washington Redskins have angered their rivals by painting the opposition changing rooms at FedExField stadium in the rainbow colors of the LGBT movement.

The Redskins, have taken the extraordinary step in order to intimidate opposition players, especially those of their main rivals, the Dallas Cowboys, according to a claim made yesterday by Dallas lineman, Tristram Bender.

Bender said:

"Whilst Dallas does have several LGBT-sufferers, the majority of the Cowboys are normal, heterosexual, meat-eating Alpha males, who know which side their bread is buttered."

The Cowboys visit Landover on Sunday 21 October for what is always a terrifically ferocious encounter between two teams who harbour so much hate and animosity, they'd like to scratch each other's eyes out.

Cowboys defensive tackle Tarquin Bumm is a transgender subject who now describes itself as "genderfluid", meaning that Tarquin can move freely between genders without having to worry about being defined as anything more specific. What a tremendous privilege! The best of all worlds, you might say.

Another Cowboy, Nick Crack, a tight end, chooses to be 'agender', which, in other words, is 'no gender', whilst rookie QB, Aaron Crotcherson, claims to be 'pangender'.

My, it's all so very confusing, isn't it? And pointless.

* LGBT stands for 'Lettuce, Grilled Bacon, Tomato'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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