BILLINGSGATE POST: A Federal judge in [blank] ruled today that the NFL franchise in our Nation's capital must remove the name that precedes [blank] because it could very well denigrate the African American players on this team who might be descendants of former slaves who might have been owned by the general who led the Colonies against the British during our war for independence, and later became the first president of the United States.
Prior to this, many Native American groups were asking [blank] [blank] owner, Dan Snyder, to stop using the name describing the color of their skin because it was considered demeaning and hurtful. Snyder was less than enthusiastic about doing so because that would require buying new jerseys and repainting hundreds of helmets displaying their logo, besides losing most of the team's tradition.
Snyder said that if he had to choose between dropping the name [blank] or the name [blank], he would drop [blank] because the rest of the country believes [blank] is run by crooked politicians who don't give a damn about the rest of America but do care for the [blank].
NFL Commissioner, Roger Goodell issued the following statement:
"I will bring this matter up at the next owner's meeting. Until then, I don't give a flying [blank] what they call this team. I am sick and tired of this PC nonsense."