There were 47 spoof news snippets published in November 2019. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.
Trump Rally Supporters Angered Over New MAGA Hats
Gay rights site now selling red hats stating: Make America Gay Again.
written by C/L, 01 November 2019
Colt Markets New Pistol Game
Sales of Russian Roulette: Derringer Edition are expected to make a killing.
written by C/L, 02 November 2019
Trump Rewrites the Separation of Powers Clause in the Constitution
Checks and balances will now refer to banking relations between the three branches of government.
Donald Trump Expected to Become First Room Ghosting Mogul
Future projections show a massive uptick in hotel reservations by authoritarian leaders.
NRA and Trump Republicans Coauthor New Fragmentary Munitions Bill
Legalizing the sale, possession, and use of hand grenades.
The United Nations Security Council Classifies Methane Gas as a Biological Weapon
Situations in High rise elevators are expected to become tense and bleak.
The Mandalorian Slated to Make Disney's Star Wars Franchise Suck Less
Fans thanking Favreau for giving the Star Wars toilet a flush.
Republican Party to be Renamed
Trump's White Nationalist Party of Evangelical Oligarchs and Money Laundering Authoritarian Thugs.
Matthew Mcconaughey to Star in the Movie Zlincoln
Where Zombie Lincoln is resurrected from the dead to save the Republican party from Trump.
Lori Loughlin Opens College Cheating Consultancy Firm
"I want to help other elitist parents successfully navigate the hostile world of college bribery and cheating".
Boy Scouts to Broaden Merit Badge Program
New merit badges in money laundering and treason to reflect the current zeitgeist.
Pizza Delivery Drone Arrested for Voyeurism
After dropping its order into the hot tub of a fornicating couple while spying on them.
Is there life in Newark NJ?
President Trump has announced he is forming a new agency to investigate if life exists in Newark NJ. "Do real people actually exist there?" he recently asked. The voters want to know for sure.
Ed Sheeran and the King
Singer Ed Sheeran claims that he is the grandson of rock n roll legend Elvis Presley. He has no viable proof of this claim however he believes that his grandmother slept with the King in the 1960s.
Sheeran is a flat earther
Singer Ed Sheeran firmly believes that the Earth is flat, and not spherical, as commonly held. Sheeran refuses to accept any alternative views as he is a paid up member of the Flat Earth Society.
White House Staffers Enjoy Halloween Prank
As they take turns blowing coaches whistles and watching Trump run angrily up and down the White House trying to find the perpetrators.
Incident at CNN
In breaking news, the newsroom at CNN has been broken into by a gang of flat-Earthers who are looking for the person who produced a report critical of their erroneous views. Producers are scared.
Doctor is brainless
A Swedish doctor says he has no idea what he is doing at the moment. "I'm completely clueless, presently" says the doctor, who is up for a Nobel Prize in medicine. Doctors really should stop and think.
Fox News Host Tucker Carlson Looses Finger tips in Bizarre Boomerang accident
When trying to catch a razor sharp boomerang, thrown by real life post apocalyptic boy, in Mojave desert interview.
Trump Orders Pentagon to Decrease Tank Armor Plating
"They will go strongly faster and get better gas mileage"!
written by C/L, 05 November 2019
Ryder in trouble again
Famous kleptomaniac, Winona Ryder, has been accused of stealing American military secrets and handing them over to Russian authorities. "Well, why not?!" was her innocent reply to doubters.
Trump in bid to fly AF1
President Trump has announced he would like to fly Air Force One under the arch of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. "I'm sure it could be done, anything is possible" he said today.
Man lives in his own private Idaho
A Boise, Idaho man has produced a brilliant idea to solve all the world's problems. But only he will know what that idea is. "I'll tell you when I'm good and ready for it," said the trash collector.
Golf gone wrong
A Charleston, Carolina man has been found drunk in a sand trap on the 16th green at the local golf links. The man had lost his ball 19 days ago.
Slavery is back
The Democratic Party has announced that it will reintroduce slavery as a plank of its policy platform at the next election. "This will free up labour shortages" said one spokes person for the party.
Queen's ditty for the masses
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is believed to have recorded a song for release on the mainstream charts. The song, said to be titled "I'm A Pretty Nice Girl", features Phil Collins and Prince Harry.
Nixon can't stay away from Office
The ghost of Richard Nixon has apparently been appearing in the corridors of the White House suggesting that it's impeachment time again. "Hey it was HIM!" cried one astonished worker. Bless his heart.
Get in line, you!
Western academics are scared that people of Eurasian descent are becoming way too intelligent. They want these people to take a number and wait in line for the next available opportunity. Ho hum.
Trump impersonator in trouble
The manager of a local fast food outlet has denied he is impersonating President Donald Trump. "I'm five feet one inches tall and I have a long beard," he maintained. Police are investigating him.
Meat to blame
A New York Times columnist says that red meat is the death knell of western civilisation. Many people disagree, and think white meat is the root of all our many problems. I'll stay with rice/beans.
Tom's River, New Jersey Residents Battle Hostile Wild Turkeys...
...by trying to trick them into climbing into Betty Crocker Easy Bake Ovens.
written by Stefano M. Stefano, 09 November 2019
Out-of-Work Beto O'Rourke forms a New DC-based Organization
Beto creates yet another DC-based NGO, called the "Irrelevancy Consortium." Joining Beto as founding and permanent members are Megan McCain, 'Sleepy Joe' Biden, Rep Al Green, Mitt Romney, Bill Kristol and Cher.
written by Trinculoman, 09 November 2019
Pelosi announces New DC Coffee Clatch whose motto is "It sucks to be Dumb"
Herspeakersh*t has rounded up quite a crew: AOC, Omar, Tlaib, K.Harris, Booker, Biden, Joy Behar, Bret Bair, Bill Deblasio, Gavin Newsome, Tom Arnold, Chris Wallace, Don Lemon, 'Morning Joe', John Kerry, and Cher.
written by Trinculoman, 09 November 2019
Trump makes a big call
President Trump has announced that Rudi Juliani will be his running partner in the 2020 Presidential Election. The present VP was advised that he was no longer cute enough to cut it as Trump's 2IC.
Boris not popular in north
The residents of Barnsley in Yorkshire UK have said they will take up arms against Prime Minister Boris Johnson if he visits their flood affected town any time soon. They want him gone by Christmas.
Davy Crockett is back!
A drifter from North Dakota has walked into a Texan Mexican restaurant claiming to be Davy Crockett, legendary adventurer of the wild west. He was wearing a coonskin hat and a glock pistol.
Boris in trouble again
Prime Minister Boris Johnson was forced to rescue a cat drowning in floodwaters in Cumbria UK. However he needed rescuing himself when the cat swam away from his frantic clutches and ate a fish.
Perry to run for Presidency
Singer Katy Perry wants to run for the US Presidency in 2048 by which time she claims she will be fully grown up. "I'm hoping I can be a real person by then" she stated in a NY Times interview. Oh my!
And so it happened...
"I'm the last one to laugh at mediocrity" cried the leader of the UK Labour Party, "but in your case I'll make an exception". He was referring to a blind man who accidently bumped into him at a diner.
Pilot of MH370 in cameo role
The pilot of missing airline flight MH370 has appeared briefly in an episode of East Enders. He walked into a love scene between main characters and then ran out again in disgust. No one has seen him.
FUNDING COMBINED WITH ART THERAPY FOR RCMP
British Columbia announced they will allow overdrafts on all RCMP expenses, IF the processing clerk draws a little crown on the claim, and writes "SPECIAL NEEDS" in large black letters, topside.
written by Madame George, 15 November 2019
Chinese find antiquated insect
Chinese authorities have found an ancient grasshopper in a woodpile near Beijing. The insect is so old it doesn't know what a Big Mac is or what it looks like. Amazing stuff.
written by whatinthe world, 16 November 2019
Monkey found on organ
Doctors have removed a small monkey from a Russian man's liver after it burrowed its way into his organ. They are now searching for the busker responsible for the incident.
written by whatinthe world, 16 November 2019
Republicans defend the president!
Being an asshole is not an impeachable offense, they assert.
written by The Ruling Authority, 19 November 2019
And In Small Town News...
...Agatha Morgenrukker is going to wash her dishes at 6:30 PM, instead of 6:15 PM. You go girl!
written by Stefano M. Stefano, 22 November 2019
Also In Small Town News...
...hometown entrepreneur, Buford J. Blount of Yorbley Corners, is planning to sell his box of combs some time next year. Get in line early, folks! They're gonna to go fast!
written by Stefano M. Stefano, 23 November 2019
Ebay Listing for XXL Wool Coat Goes Viral
An Ebay listing for a XXL Wool Coat went viral after the seller's humorous description and his recommendation that obese buyers buy it as incentive to lose weight and list it back on Ebay.
written by David E. Wesley, 24 November 2019