There were 19 spoof news snippets published in July 2019. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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London Mayor backs Trump's assertion that the city has no-go areas

"They're called estate agents" he tells newsmen

written by Johnny Shlep, 02 July 2019
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Nike to liquidate and cease all operations

Nike has announced it will cease all operations (including Converse & Hurley), effectively closing forever, after de facto CEO Colin Rand Kaepernick points out 19th century plantation owners wore shoes.

written by SirBeavis, 06 July 2019
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Truckload of Viagra Stolen

A truckload of Viagra was stolen. The public is advised to look for hardened criminals. Police report that the thieves will likely face a stiff sentence in a newly-erected maximum-security prison.

written by Purple Girl, 07 July 2019
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GE to produce more brown and black transformers

In the shocking wake of the public clamor against white power, GE has decided to produce brown and black electrical transformers.

written by Purple Girl, 07 July 2019
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Circus Murderer Strikes Again

"He went straight for the juggler," says eyewitness.

written by Johnny Shlep, 09 July 2019
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Devil Announces New Circles Added to Hell

"Once all these Fox News viewers and Trump's family and friends die, we'll need the extra space."

written by Al N., 10 July 2019
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Kanye West Samples Stairway to Heaven

He actually samples the whole song and doesn't add anything to it.

written by Al N., 10 July 2019
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Stranger Things Season 3 Is All About Trump's White House

"We tried to do something different, but we found nothing strange compared to Trump's strangeness."

written by Al N., 10 July 2019
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U.S. Women's Soccer Team To Run Against Trump in 2020

"We hate Trump and Trump hates us. We plan to run the country as a team once we win," said the team.

written by Al N., 10 July 2019
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Jeffrey Epstein Offers to Give Homes to All Underage Girls in Trump's Immigration Concentration Camps

Labor Sec Alex Acosta says that it is good community service that will help rehabilitate Epstein.

written by Al N., 10 July 2019
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"Bubba" Clinton to Graciously Assist Those Women with Post-Epstein Traumatic Stress Disorder

Ex-Pres opened the Little Rock Clinton Pres-Library to help 'counsel' those women victimized by Epstein. "Bubba" will 'share their pain' in frequent close encounter sessions on the Penthouse waterbed.

written by Trinculoman, 13 July 2019
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Trump Fires Daughter For Disloyalty

"Cartier, I mean Tiffany, knows she hasn't been pulling her weight and so she's fired" said Trump.

written by Al N., 19 July 2019
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Trump Son Eric Given His Own Brand New Cell Phone

Eric is still on probation, so is only allowed to retweet his father's tweets, and text when late.

written by Al N., 19 July 2019
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Woman Wastes a Fortune on Anal Bleaching

A lady who recently bleached her anus had to have it redone after falling asleep while nude sunbathing on her stomach. Seems anuses tan quickly when exposed to sunlight.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 20 July 2019
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Bordertown Man Abducted by Aliens

Texas man reported to authorities he was abducted by aliens while repairing a fence. The man claimed aliens forced him into a Chevy MonteCarlo lowrider and made him buy them Corona beer and street tacos.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 20 July 2019
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Doctor Repurposes Foreskin for Sideline Business

A Florida obstetrician has begun saving foreskin from daily circumcisions at his office to make expandable travelbags. These bags grow from toiletry size to extra large suitcases by simply stroking them.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 20 July 2019
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Man Sued for Blinding Drivers

A man has found himself the defendant in a class-action suit by drivers who claim his waxed bald head caused them to wreck their vehicles while passing him in oncoming traffic due to its bright sheen.

written by C. Lance the Freelance, 20 July 2019
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White House To Begin Using Craigslist for Employee Search

"We need to keep up with all the firings and people quitting. First job to fill is Press Secretary."

written by Al N., 26 July 2019
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Showbiz Latest

"Pin sharp sound system ruined my daughter's Spice Girl trip," says London mother.

written by Johnny Shlep, 26 July 2019
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