There were 322 spoof news snippets published in 2018. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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Vegans Mysteriously Missing From Third World Countries

The search for the finicky eaters continues in the most impoverished and malnourished areas of the world.

written by Michael Sienicki, 02 August 2018
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Donald Trump Admits He Keeps His Family Around to Make Him Look Smart

"Let's face it, the 3 Stooges would look like geniuses if compared to Ivanka, Donny, and Eric!"

written by Al N., 26 January 2018
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Comey Preps for Next Career Move, Buys J. Edgar's Dress

Ex-FBI Flack Comey spewed big bucks at a SoHo auction to nab former FBI-chiefiette Hoover's lounging smock. Comey will hit the Euro-Trash Drag Queen circuit as "Floobie"- DC's Trannie of Fake Justice.

written by Trinculoman, 03 February 2018
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Kavanaugh Goes On Long Bender to Celebrate Victory

He was last seen sticking his penis in the face of Rodin's Crouching Woman statue in Washington, DC.

written by Al N., 28 October 2018
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Trump Puts Troops on the U.S.-Canadian Border

"Ontario should belong to the U.S. and we plan to annex it. We will change its name to Trumptario. "

written by Al N., 30 October 2018
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F.B.I. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe

Maybe FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe neglected to add a few hours to his timesheet? Like on 9/11, or did he ever work through his lunch hour, eating on the run 16 times in the last twenty years?

written by K.C. Bell, 18 March 2018
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Mobile Phones to be Banned In School

If we ban mobile phones in school, how are our kids going to say goodbye to us while they are being stalked by a shooter?

written by carina-eta, 20 June 2018
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Arizona Smokers Demand More Shade

"Because fuck this," they said, when reached for comment.

written by Michael Sienicki, 04 August 2018
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Mueller Investigation Uncovers America's Two Biggest Secrets

They have not only uncovered Trump's tax returns, but they have found Hillary's missing e-mails!

written by Al N., 25 August 2018
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Elizabeth Warren Demands New Appointment for Vacant Arizona Senate Seat

"Pocahontas" Warren proclaims she will accept no appointment to a McCain-vacated seat other than "Geronimo"Ocasio-Cortez who recently discovered that she is descended from a band of Apache Socialists.

written by Trinculoman, 27 August 2018
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Pope Francis Disavows All Blame for Priestly Pedophilia

His Holiness claims no responsibility for Catholic priests' sexual assaults on children. He was "embedded" as Chaplain for a cadre of radical leftists bent on subverting freedom across South America.

written by Trinculoman, 27 August 2018
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Trump Didn't Realize McCain Had Died But Had a Good Reason

He is all broken up about Aretha Franklin dying and locked himself in his room playing her records.

written by Al N., 28 August 2018
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Trump Upset Because Googling Himself Only Brings Up Negative Stories

Google has explained to him that it is because there are ONLY negative Trump stories, & no others.

written by Al N., 28 August 2018
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China's Chairman Xi Doing Well with Extra Benefits

Thanks to the rewards from hacking all of Hillary's emails,Chairman Xi is now enjoying his generous weekly financial stipend from the Clinton Foundation--and the steady flow of interns also is a plus.

written by Trinculoman, 29 August 2018
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Trump Tells of a Good News Source to Follow Besides Fox News

He has declared that D. Pecker's National Enquirer is much more reliable than CNN or the NY Times.

written by Al N., 30 August 2018
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Steve Bannon Spotted Panhandling at D.C. Metro Station

"He actually looked better than when he worked in the White House" a bystander said.

written by Al N., 30 August 2018
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Senator Meghan McCain

Isn’t it about time, Meghan McCain gets back on that horse and runs for her father’s seat as U. S. Senator from Arizona?

written by K.C. Bell, 02 September 2018
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Trump Bans Lie Detectors

"I don't see any reason for them. They never work. Witch hunt! Witch hunt! Fake News" tweeted Trump.

written by Al N., 05 September 2018
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A Definition of 'Free Speech' Clarified

Calling the endless screams of addled harpies at a Judiciary Committee meeting 'Free Speech' is akin to referring to the endless whining of Senate Democrats as 'Rational Discourse.'

M. Voltaire

written by Trinculoman, 05 September 2018
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It's Not Just That Trump Hates Bob Woodward's New Book...

He's actually got a fear of ALL books or anything that requires a lot of reading with no pictures.

written by Al N., 06 September 2018
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Trump Discovers Who Failing New York Times Anonymous Editorial Writer Is

He thought it was too well written to be by Melania, but found out Sarah Sanders helped her with it.

written by Al N., 07 September 2018
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Trump Has Solution About What to Do With all the Confederate Statues That Were Removed

I have a sculptor who can change the face on the statues to my likeness.They can be placed all over!

written by Al N., 07 September 2018
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Ex-Emperor Goes on the Airwaves with Desperate Message

Ousted Potentate Obama on TV demands a coup to reinstate his self-proclaimed throne,to return to "teaching moments" for all unwashed 'deplorables',& to get Queen Sheba Susan Rice back in the Hot Tub..

written by Trinculoman, 08 September 2018
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Serena Williams' Motive for On-Court Behavior Revealed

The US Open umpire didn't realize that for Serena, it was nothing personal. She was simply auditioning to join the cast of The View.

written by Trinculoman, 09 September 2018
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Fox News Says Trump Has Sent Hurricane Florence to East Coast to Punish Them

In no way was Fox News trying to deflect the public's attention away from Trump's legal problems.

written by Al N., 11 September 2018
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Senate Demos Now Blaming Kavanaugh for Hurricane Florence

Booker,Feinstein,& Harris blame the SOTUS candidate for causing Florence's attack on the Carolina Coast.There's a "secret letter" from Valhalla charging the Judge with cursing Thor when in pre-school.

written by Trinculoman, 14 September 2018
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Putin Has Stopped Taking Trump's Calls

Even soul-less, sociopathic dictators have their limits.

written by Al N., 16 September 2018
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Trump Tweets Again and Again How Sane He Is and How He is a Genius

His latest tweet: "I am sane and a genius and lx-e.3zl ls.a'oor.ls; BigMac ..2k9dlskwoncjwkllq..0...

written by Al N., 10 January 2018
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Kavanaugh’s Daily Diary As Proof Of His Innocence

Brett Kavanaugh has submitted his prep school diary as proof of his innocence. So, if the FBI is accepting daily diaries as proof of innocence, is it too late for Bill Cosby to run one up?

written by K.C. Bell, 26 September 2018
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Trump is Denied Permission to Send 'Fire and Fury' Author Richard Wolff to Guantanamo

Trump was given permission to send Bannon, Ivanka, Don, Jr., Eric, or Jarrod there if he wanted.

written by Al N., 11 January 2018
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Judge Kavanaugh Deciding A Case?

Anyone, including Senator Lindsey Graham, want a jay-walking ticket decided by a nose-sniffing-up-to-his-eyebrow, conspiratorial, vocally-incontinent, boozy Judge Brett Kavanaugh? Nah. Pay the fine.

written by K.C. Bell, 29 September 2018
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Be Best In Africa?

Better if Melania Trump had stayed home and lectured her husband about BE BEST treatment of victims of sexual abuse. Children of Africa are already basically good.

written by K.C. Bell, 05 October 2018
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Trump Imposes Tariffs on Rotary Dial Phones and Kerosene Lamps

"I hope the liberals can see that I'm keeping my promise on guarding American industry" said Trump.

written by Al N., 23 January 2018
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After a Year of Trump, Immigrants are Asking to Be Deported

One of them mentioned that "North Korea is looking better all the time..."

written by Al N., 25 January 2018
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@FBI arrests itself

In a bizarre action today, @FBI agents everywhere handcuffed themselves to each other in a move to avoid felony take-downs.

written by Aspartame Boy, 30 January 2018
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Trump Said News Media The Enemy

Trump said the news media was the enemy of the people. Saudi newsman Jamal Khashoggi was critical of the Saudi government, then goes missing in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey? Looks like a green light.

written by K.C. Bell, 14 October 2018
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Trump to Start New Religion

He has also declared himself the first saint of his new religion.

written by Al N., 31 January 2018
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MSU Sports Coach Larry Nassar Sentenced to Additional 20-40 Years On Top of 40 to 175 Years Sentence

Officials are arguing over which of the sentences the 54-year old will start serving first.

written by Al N., 01 February 2018
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Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson to Form Singing Duo

Their first set list includes Lyin' Eyes, Liar, Lies, Lie to Me, & Fox on the Run.

written by Al N., 01 February 2018
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Trump Thinks Deaths at End of Avengers Infinity Wars Were Real

He sends the Secret Service to the movie set of Avengers 4 to do some investigating.

written by Al N., 18 October 2018
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North Korea Wanted to Start Destroying U.S. By Getting Trump

It was before they realized that by leaving Trump where he is, will destroy the U.S. a lot faster.

written by Al N., 03 February 2018
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Trump Gives Cast of Fox & Friends the Presidential Medal of Freedom

He wanted to knight them but much to his chagrin, was informed he didn't have the power to do that.

written by Al N., 04 February 2018
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Secret FBI Memo Reveals Pelosi as Zombie

FBI internal memo, squashed by Comey, reveals that Minority Leader is a zombie. Pelosi has been eating the homeless population of DC for years, thus elevating the Capital status for reducing beggars.

written by Trinculoman, 04 February 2018
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Rep Schiff Exposed as Hillary Black Ops Bot

RoboFeed blog explains Calif Rep Adam Schiff is just an animated Bot-a product of the Hillary Black Ops skunkworks, designed to continuously spew lies based on a genomic coding of Clinton's instincts.

written by Trinculoman, 06 February 2018
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Trump's Brown People

Trump warns that the brown people are coming. That’s not as bad as the orange person.

written by K.C. Bell, 22 October 2018
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Trump Calls the Stock Market Drop "Fake News" and Blames Obama and Crooked Hillary

He recommends that investors buy Trump Vodka and that then, things will be better!

written by Al N., 07 February 2018
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Trump is Banned From Attending Olympics

It is the first thing both North and South Korea have agreed on in a long time.

written by Al N., 07 February 2018
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Sarah Will Be Allowed to Attend Prince Harry's Wedding in Disguise

Prince Philip will also have 6 men assigned to him to distract him whenever Fergie is in view.

written by Al N., 07 February 2018
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Scientists Seek Artificial Filter for Trump's Thoughts

"As is, he has no filter and just blurts and tweets whatever pops into his head," said a scientist.

written by Al N., 07 February 2018
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Megyn Kelly Empties Desk and Sneaks Out of NBC in Disguise

She WAS in blackface, but she was playing a character (Michelle Obama) so it's ok.

written by Al N., 27 October 2018
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Republicans Suggest America Use a Lottery to Determine Who Will Get to Have Pre-existing Conditions Allowed.

Except those conditions that are life-threatening (unless you're Upper Class, of course).

written by Al N., 27 October 2018
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Vice-President Pence Reveals He Has a Fear of Orientals

Pres. Trump sent him to the Winter Olympics to help him overcome his fears but only made it worse.

written by Al N., 12 February 2018
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Stormy Daniels Develops a Fear of Mushrooms

"It started after I saw Trump's tiny penis - it looked like the mushroom from Mario Kart" said Stormy.

written by Al N., 28 October 2018
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Eric and Donald Trump Jr. Are Kidnapped and Returned by the Russians

At first, no one realizes they're missing. When they are returned they both have new tooth fillings.

written by Al N., 15 February 2018
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Eric, Donald Trump, Jr. and Jarrad Kushner Offered Big Hollywood Movie Roles

They are casting to redo the "Three Stooges."

written by Al N., 15 February 2018
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Major Democrat Bomb Mailings, Synagogue Shootings, Russian Election Interference--So What Does Trump Tweet About?

Attacking the Dodgers pitching moves and an immigrant caravan over a thousand miles away.

written by Al N., 29 October 2018
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Super Bowl Winners Eagles Do Victory Tour

Clueless fans keep yelling for them to play "Hotel California."

written by Al N., 15 February 2018
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Buckingham Palace Works to Dispel Rumor About Why Prince Philip Retired

It is NOT true that he is battling videogame addiction.

written by Al N., 29 October 2018
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Bill Cosby Becomes a Mentor in Prison

The word is, he's revealing his ultra-secret "Spanish Fly" he says he invented himself.

written by Al N., 29 October 2018
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Boston Red Sox Admit They Almost Threw the World Series

It would have been much easier to have lost than to have thought up excuses why the team couldn't make it to the White House.

written by Al N., 30 October 2018
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Pink Floyd Announce They Will Rename Their LP "The Wall" In Honor of Trump

"Because he talks about the Wall so much we have decided to call the album "The Dunce."

written by Al N., 17 February 2018
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Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team

The delegation was the team coach who lost the coin toss and the team driver. The rest boycotted.

written by Al N., 17 February 2018
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Trump Gets Wrong Information Before Rally...

...and accidently tells the truth!

written by Al N., 31 October 2018
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Seeking Asylum

You are seeking asylum, running away from trouble, and there is a North Korean, a Russian and a Saudi Arabian embassy. Which one do you choose? Fourth option: Keep running.

Trump? Any of the above.

written by K.C. Bell, 01 November 2018
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When does a US chicken do a runner in the UK?

Answer; when its brain is pumped full with chemicals and starts to think before going to be mass slaughtered! No headless EU chickens for the UK nugget market, only chemically infused ones!

written by Jaggedone, 20 February 2018
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10 kg suitcases filled with children are forbidden!!

Cheap Brit/Irish airlines are warning their customers that 10 kg suitcases stuffed with illegal children are forbidden and if one does slip on board they will not be given free food or drink, no way!

written by Jaggedone, 21 February 2018
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Trump Assigns Every Person in the Immigrant Caravan Their Own Military Guard

Since it is 5,200 soldiers, and only 4,000 in the Caravan, the leftover soldiers will dig a trench.

written by Al N., 03 November 2018
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California Dares Trump to Campaign There

Trump changed his mind on sneaking into Yorba Linda, the last Republican stronghold in California.

written by Al N., 03 November 2018
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US Flag still in psychiatric care following Fergie "Performance"

Following Fergie's "performance" of the National Anthem, the US Flag hanging in the arena suffered major mental turmoil. The flag remains under full time psychiatric care for severe PTSD.

written by Xavier Fairbanks, 23 February 2018
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Trump Promises to Grant Every Person in America A Tax Break, 40 Acres, and a Mule, All Before the Election

Valid birth certificate required.

written by Al N., 03 November 2018
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Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...

written by Xavier Fairbanks, 23 February 2018
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Trump Says the Immigrant Caravan is Bringing the Plague, Rabies, and Hepatitis Z to the U.S.

And then there's the really bad stuff Trump says is coming if the Democrats win.

written by Al N., 03 November 2018
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Jarad Kushner's Security Clearance Downgraded From Hush-Hush to Just Hush

His only duty is monitoring the White House servant's e-mails (but only on a "need-to-know" basis).

written by Al N., 02 March 2018
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In Retaliation for Putin's and Kim Jong Un's Videos, Trump Makes His Own Video

In Trump's video, he drops nukes on the Washington Post, New York Times, Hillary, and Alec Baldwin.

written by Al N., 05 March 2018
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Fox News Viewers Commit Mass Suicide!

"Anything other than be taken alive and tortured by the savage criminal migrant caravan!" as one said.

written by Al N., 05 November 2018
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Trump Excludes Golf Clubs from Steel and Aluminum Tariffs

Trump expounds upon need for golf clubs as companies flood market with cheap golf clubs.

written by Al N., 09 March 2018
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The Koch Brothers and George Soros to Fight it Out

Each side is to field an army who will fight it out, colosseum style, while $$$s are exchanged.

written by Al N., 06 November 2018
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Scores of Porn Stars Contact Trump's Lawyer for Payouts

Most of them remark they never thought they would admit they even knew Trump, much less...

written by Al N., 12 March 2018
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Trump Blames Global Warming on Violent Video Games

He also blames violent video games for the economy, Russian hackers, and the Stormy Daniels affair.

written by Al N., 13 March 2018
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United Airlines Sends Dog To Japan

Dog mistakenly shipped to Japan instead of Kansas by United Airlines announced, “This isn’t Kansas!”

However, he’ll only eat sushi.

written by K.C. Bell, 15 March 2018
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Straight-A Liberal Arts and Philosophy Graduate Asks Local Janitor If He Wants Fries With That

Reported increase of recent college graduates practicing "please pull around to the second window" in front of mirror.

written by SamIAm, 08 November 2018
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Trump Says Democrats Should Thank Him for Being Such A Terrible President

...Because they never would've won the House by such a wide margin without him!

written by Al N., 10 November 2018
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Scamatology TV Has Resulted in Flood of New Visits to Orgs

In Miami a lady stopped by to use the bathroom and in LA a guy came by to sell fumigation supplies.

written by Al N., 18 March 2018
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If attacked by a gang of clowns...

Go for the juggler!

written by Al N., 19 November 2018
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Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!

Tea tree oils and lavender oil increase the size of male breasts scientists have discovered. Sorry ladies, a trip to Silicone Valley is still necessary for you!

written by Jaggedone, 18 March 2018
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Trump Ghost-Writer Tony Schwartz Reveals What Trump Wanted to Call "Art of the Deal"

We had a Mexican meal & Trump ate a lot of beans and had the idea to call the book Fart of the Meal.

written by Al N., 20 November 2018
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Clown Union Assures Trump He'll Always Have A Home With Them

"He's made us laugh so much and he's orange. We know he can't last too much longer, so just sayin'."

written by Al N., 22 March 2018
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Melania Makes Another Futile Attempt to Escape the White House

She made it to Toronto and ran up $175,000 worth of hotel bills trying to lose the Secret Service.

written by Al N., 20 November 2018
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BOJO or Putin? You choose your fav NUTTER!

UK foreign diplomacy, once a great way of solving poisonous Russian storms in tea-cups, has been replaced by BOJO's version; Auf Deutsch gesagt; 'Scheisse!' Buckets of it!

written by Jaggedone, 22 March 2018
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White Lady Sees "Blackish"

Calls police to report all the black people on her TV.

written by Al N., 21 November 2018
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Hillary Promises to Send Her Private E-Mail Server to Ivanka to Use

"I heard about the trouble Ivanka had and thought I'd give her a private server so she can be safe."

written by Al N., 21 November 2018
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White House And Exorcism

The White House needs an exorcism. Like now!

written by K.C. Bell, 24 November 2018
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Who Will Replace Hope Hicks In The White House?

Who will replace Hope Hicks? Easy! Stormy Daniels. That'll cancel out the Stormy Daniels case, and Trump could hire Michael Avenatti as his attorney for his impeachment trial. Bingo!

written by K.C. Bell, 30 March 2018
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New toilet accessory selling like hotcakes

The red plastic sleeve slips over the toilet handle and is emblazoned in white: MAKE THE TOILET BOWL GREAT AGAIN

written by Aspartame Boy, 25 November 2018
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George H. W. Bush Reaching His Final Destination

George H.W. Bush took a paraglider up to his final destination, floating through clouds, stars, and galaxies.

Watching the soft landing, God said, “I’ve gotta try that someday.”

"Well, hop on."

written by K.C. Bell, 01 December 2018
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85 year-old Nymphomaniac wants 'Sexit'!

Volga-Olga is fed up with Brexit and is demanding 'Sexit' instead. A UK parliament gang-bang has been arranged for her!

written by Jaggedone, 06 December 2018
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Trump adopts Bush's dog!

President Trump has adopted George Bush's dog because it doesn't answer back, is loyal to the bitter end, and wags its tail everytime Trump twitters...

written by Jaggedone, 06 December 2018
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May kicks out the cat from Nr 10!

UK PM May kicked out the Downing Street cat because it refused to eat a US chemical chicken, its future diet. It preferred a EU, organic version. May is doing her best for UK citizens, not their cats!

written by Jaggedone, 06 December 2018
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Donald Trump, Jr. Rumored to be Subpoenaed Soon

By coincidence, Trump Jr. has announced he will be visiting Trump properties not located in the U.S.

written by Al N., 08 December 2018
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Michael Cohen and Paul Manafort Plan to Form Gang in Prison

The name they will have tattooed on their chests is "White Collar Crooks."

written by Al N., 10 December 2018
« 2017 2018  
January
11
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February
30
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March
17
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April
39
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May
12
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June
30
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July
34
snippets
August
52
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September
22
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October
29
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November
27
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December
19
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