There were 132 spoof news snippets published in 2018. A selection of the best rated snippets is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get all the news snippets from a day in this month.

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Donald Trump Admits He Keeps His Family Around to Make Him Look Smart

"Let's face it, the 3 Stooges would look like geniuses if compared to Ivanka, Donny, and Eric!"

written by Al N., 26 January 2018
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Comey Preps for Next Career Move, Buys J. Edgar's Dress

Ex-FBI Flack Comey spewed big bucks at a SoHo auction to nab former FBI-chiefiette Hoover's lounging smock. Comey will hit the Euro-Trash Drag Queen circuit as "Floobie"- DC's Trannie of Fake Justice.

written by Trinculoman, 03 February 2018
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F.B.I. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe

Maybe FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe neglected to add a few hours to his timesheet? Like on 9/11, or did he ever work through his lunch hour, eating on the run 16 times in the last twenty years?

written by K.C. Bell, 18 March 2018
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Trump Tweets Again and Again How Sane He Is and How He is a Genius

His latest tweet: "I am sane and a genius and lx-e.3zl ls.a'oor.ls; BigMac ..2k9dlskwoncjwkllq..0...

written by Al N., 10 January 2018
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Trump is Denied Permission to Send 'Fire and Fury' Author Richard Wolff to Guantanamo

Trump was given permission to send Bannon, Ivanka, Don, Jr., Eric, or Jarrod there if he wanted.

written by Al N., 11 January 2018
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Trump Imposes Tariffs on Rotary Dial Phones and Kerosene Lamps

"I hope the liberals can see that I'm keeping my promise on guarding American industry" said Trump.

written by Al N., 23 January 2018
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After a Year of Trump, Immigrants are Asking to Be Deported

One of them mentioned that "North Korea is looking better all the time..."

written by Al N., 25 January 2018
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Trump to Start New Religion

He has also declared himself the first saint of his new religion.

written by Al N., 31 January 2018
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MSU Sports Coach Larry Nassar Sentenced to Additional 20-40 Years On Top of 40 to 175 Years Sentence

Officials are arguing over which of the sentences the 54-year old will start serving first.

written by Al N., 01 February 2018
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Sean Hannity and Tucker Carlson to Form Singing Duo

Their first set list includes Lyin' Eyes, Liar, Lies, Lie to Me, & Fox on the Run.

written by Al N., 01 February 2018
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North Korea Wanted to Start Destroying U.S. By Getting Trump

It was before they realized that by leaving Trump where he is, will destroy the U.S. a lot faster.

written by Al N., 03 February 2018
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Trump Gives Cast of Fox & Friends the Presidential Medal of Freedom

He wanted to knight them but much to his chagrin, was informed he didn't have the power to do that.

written by Al N., 04 February 2018
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Secret FBI Memo Reveals Pelosi as Zombie

FBI internal memo, squashed by Comey, reveals that Minority Leader is a zombie. Pelosi has been eating the homeless population of DC for years, thus elevating the Capital status for reducing beggars.

written by Trinculoman, 04 February 2018
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Rep Schiff Exposed as Hillary Black Ops Bot

RoboFeed blog explains Calif Rep Adam Schiff is just an animated Bot-a product of the Hillary Black Ops skunkworks, designed to continuously spew lies based on a genomic coding of Clinton's instincts.

written by Trinculoman, 06 February 2018
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Trump Calls the Stock Market Drop "Fake News" and Blames Obama and Crooked Hillary

He recommends that investors buy Trump Vodka and that then, things will be better!

written by Al N., 07 February 2018
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Trump is Banned From Attending Olympics

It is the first thing both North and South Korea have agreed on in a long time.

written by Al N., 07 February 2018
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Sarah Will Be Allowed to Attend Prince Harry's Wedding in Disguise

Prince Philip will also have 6 men assigned to him to distract him whenever Fergie is in view.

written by Al N., 07 February 2018
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Scientists Seek Artificial Filter for Trump's Thoughts

"As is, he has no filter and just blurts and tweets whatever pops into his head," said a scientist.

written by Al N., 07 February 2018
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Vice-President Pence Reveals He Has a Fear of Orientals

Pres. Trump sent him to the Winter Olympics to help him overcome his fears but only made it worse.

written by Al N., 12 February 2018
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Eric and Donald Trump Jr. Are Kidnapped and Returned by the Russians

At first, no one realizes they're missing. When they are returned they both have new tooth fillings.

written by Al N., 15 February 2018
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Eric, Donald Trump, Jr. and Jarrad Kushner Offered Big Hollywood Movie Roles

They are casting to redo the "Three Stooges."

written by Al N., 15 February 2018
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Super Bowl Winners Eagles Do Victory Tour

Clueless fans keep yelling for them to play "Hotel California."

written by Al N., 15 February 2018
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Pink Floyd Announce They Will Rename Their LP "The Wall" In Honor of Trump

"Because he talks about the Wall so much we have decided to call the album "The Dunce."

written by Al N., 17 February 2018
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Philadelphia Eagles Only Need 2-Passenger Corvette For Official White House Visit After Winning Super Bowl Team

The delegation was the team coach who lost the coin toss and the team driver. The rest boycotted.

written by Al N., 17 February 2018
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When does a US chicken do a runner in the UK?

Answer; when its brain is pumped full with chemicals and starts to think before going to be mass slaughtered! No headless EU chickens for the UK nugget market, only chemically infused ones!

written by Jaggedone, 20 February 2018
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10 kg suitcases filled with children are forbidden!!

Cheap Brit/Irish airlines are warning their customers that 10 kg suitcases stuffed with illegal children are forbidden and if one does slip on board they will not be given free food or drink, no way!

written by Jaggedone, 21 February 2018
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US Flag still in psychiatric care following Fergie "Performance"

Following Fergie's "performance" of the National Anthem, the US Flag hanging in the arena suffered major mental turmoil. The flag remains under full time psychiatric care for severe PTSD.

written by Xavier Fairbanks, 23 February 2018
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Man Cures Cancer While Sitting In ER Waiting Room

After arriving at the hospital for a health complication a gentleman had to wait to be seen. 8 years later he's still there, but found the cure for cancer in the meantime. That was 6 years ago...

written by Xavier Fairbanks, 23 February 2018
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Jarad Kushner's Security Clearance Downgraded From Hush-Hush to Just Hush

His only duty is monitoring the White House servant's e-mails (but only on a "need-to-know" basis).

written by Al N., 02 March 2018
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In Retaliation for Putin's and Kim Jong Un's Videos, Trump Makes His Own Video

In Trump's video, he drops nukes on the Washington Post, New York Times, Hillary, and Alec Baldwin.

written by Al N., 05 March 2018
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Trump Excludes Golf Clubs from Steel and Aluminum Tariffs

Trump expounds upon need for golf clubs as companies flood market with cheap golf clubs.

written by Al N., 09 March 2018
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Scores of Porn Stars Contact Trump's Lawyer for Payouts

Most of them remark they never thought they would admit they even knew Trump, much less...

written by Al N., 12 March 2018
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Trump Blames Global Warming on Violent Video Games

He also blames violent video games for the economy, Russian hackers, and the Stormy Daniels affair.

written by Al N., 13 March 2018
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United Airlines Sends Dog To Japan

Dog mistakenly shipped to Japan instead of Kansas by United Airlines announced, “This isn’t Kansas!”

However, he’ll only eat sushi.

written by K.C. Bell, 15 March 2018
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Scamatology TV Has Resulted in Flood of New Visits to Orgs

In Miami a lady stopped by to use the bathroom and in LA a guy came by to sell fumigation supplies.

written by Al N., 18 March 2018
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Blue tits, lavender tits, silicone tits!

Tea tree oils and lavender oil increase the size of male breasts scientists have discovered. Sorry ladies, a trip to Silicone Valley is still necessary for you!

written by Jaggedone, 18 March 2018
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Clown Union Assures Trump He'll Always Have A Home With Them

"He's made us laugh so much and he's orange. We know he can't last too much longer, so just sayin'."

written by Al N., 22 March 2018
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BOJO or Putin? You choose your fav NUTTER!

UK foreign diplomacy, once a great way of solving poisonous Russian storms in tea-cups, has been replaced by BOJO's version; Auf Deutsch gesagt; 'Scheisse!' Buckets of it!

written by Jaggedone, 22 March 2018
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Who Will Replace Hope Hicks In The White House?

Who will replace Hope Hicks? Easy! Stormy Daniels. That'll cancel out the Stormy Daniels case, and Trump could hire Michael Avenatti as his attorney for his impeachment trial. Bingo!

written by K.C. Bell, 30 March 2018
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Donald Trump, Jr. Blames His Divorce on Obama

He says it's the only thing he's ever liked about Obama.

written by Al N., 05 April 2018
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Name Calling Trump

One thing about Trump, no one will ever call him simpatico!

written by K.C. Bell, 17 April 2018
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Emmanuel Macron Doesn’t Speak Trumpish

Anyone notice, French President Emmanuel Macron speaks better English than Donald Trump? And no superlatives necessary...Sad!

written by K.C. Bell, 26 April 2018
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Bill Cosby Will Not Be Allowed to Have Pound Cake in Prison

And Pudding Pops and Jell-o will not be allowed in jail-o.

written by Al N., 27 April 2018
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Neil Warnock Upset Again

The Cardiff City boss is seething again after it was discovered his name was an anagram of Colin Wanker.

written by Monkey Woods, 27 April 2018
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Trump's Paralympics

Donald Trump says he had difficulty watching the Paralympics and watched as much as he could. Remember, he suffers from bone spurs, rumored to be in his feet, preventing him from serving in Vietnam.

written by K.C. Bell, 01 May 2018
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Donald Trump And The Paralympics

Donald Trump says he had difficulty watching the Paralympics and watched as much as he could. Remember, he suffers from bone spurs, (rumored to be in his feet) that prevented his service in Vietnam.

written by K.C. Bell, 01 May 2018
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Did Trump Push His Name For Nobel Peace Prize?

Is the same guy who mocked a person with a physical handicap allegedly going to be nominated to receive the Nobel Peace Prize? Smells like a Dr. Harold Bornstein letter, dictated by Trump. Bad!

written by K.C. Bell, 02 May 2018
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Bill Cosby Will Not Be Allowed Pound Cake in Prison

And Pudding Pops and Jell-O will not be allowed in Jail-O.

written by Al N., 04 May 2018
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One Brick Speaks

One brick speaks and says: The United States ON America. It’s the United States OF America. How much does a degree from Wharton cost? Well, at least her hair was combed.

written by K.C. Bell, 15 May 2018
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The Only Way to Get the Palestinians to the Table

Our Middle East correspondent M. Voltaire opines: If you want PLO/Hamas to come to the Peace Table, set out copious quantities of rancid cheese --it's the only enticing incentive for street rats.

written by Trinculoman, 15 May 2018
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Wallis Simpson And Meghan Markle

Somewhere in heaven, Wallis Simpson is smiling and applauding Meghan Markle’s wedding to Prince Harry: an American, an actress and a divorcee. Wow! Everything else is just sparkle. Smart guy, Harry.

written by K.C. Bell, 20 May 2018
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Referendum To Ban And Remove Trump

Gosh, since Ireland was successful with their referendum to remove the ban on abortion, can the U.S. have a referendum to ban and remove Trump?

written by K.C. Bell, 26 May 2018
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Name Calling Trump

What do you call the daughter holding her cute little boy while her father’s policy is to rip away babies and children from their mothers and fathers? Armpit? Kneecap? No. She’s called Daddy’s Girl.

written by K.C. Bell, 01 June 2018
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Trump Deports Melania

Melania's staff, not seeing her for 20 days, finally found out she was taken away by Immigration.

written by Al N., 02 June 2018
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United States Tripped Down The Rabbit Hole

Guess what? The United States tripped down the rabbit hole, with Putin's help, and Trump is the new Queen of Hearts! "I can pardon myself by executive order!"

Nah! Tell it to the bone spurs. Sad...

written by K.C. Bell, 04 June 2018
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Jared Fogel Asks to Not Be Given Subway Subs While in Prison

"It's cruel and unusual!" said Jared.

written by Al N., 09 June 2018
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Trump Pardons Joe McCarthy, Benedict Arnold, and Aaron Burr

"They were all good people who just got bad press, like you-know-who" said Trump.

written by Al N., 09 June 2018
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Roseanne Announces New Show With Paula Deen to Run on Fox Network

With support from the Immigration Dept., they will deport a different ethnic group member each week.

written by Al N., 09 June 2018
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Trump Thinks He Already Met With Kim from Korea

His staff had to explain that the person he met with was really Kim Kardashian, not Kim Jong Un.

written by Al N., 09 June 2018
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Trump Declares War on Canada for Burning White House in War of 1812

"Now that I know about it, I'm not going to let them get away with it ANY LONGER!" shouted Trump.

written by Al N., 09 June 2018
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Trump Pardons Himself for All the Pussies He's Grabbed

He also promises all the women who want to sue him that he will take them furniture shopping.

written by Al N., 09 June 2018
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Roseanne Claims that Ambien Turned Her Into An Asshole

"Just ask anyone! I was a bitch but that's all! It's the Ambien that made me racist AND an asshole!

written by Al N., 09 June 2018
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Trump Gives North Carolina to Kim Jong Un in Return for De-Nuclearization

"And if Lil' Kim stays nuclear-free for ONE YEAR, we will also give Kim North Dakota," said Trump.

written by Al N., 12 June 2018
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Secret Plot to Have Trump Declare War on Canada Revealed

Trump must give Canada to Russia or else the Trump Golden Showers tape will hit the airwaves.

written by Al N., 13 June 2018
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Trump Takes the U.S. Out of the U.N.

Trump then deports all the non-citizens & orders everyone else out of the U.N. Building in 24 hours.

written by Al N., 13 June 2018
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Inspector General’s Report Is Out

Much like a school report card, the Inspector General’s report is out and James Comey received an F for failure. Who’ve guess? Because he gave the world Donald Trump, he should have received a Z.

written by K.C. Bell, 14 June 2018
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Bill Cosby Contacts Kim Kardashian to See if She Can Get Him Pardoned

Kim told Cosby he would have to get in line behind Robert Mueller, Suge Knight, and Jared Folger.

written by Al N., 17 June 2018
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Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.

written by Al N., 19 June 2018
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Mobile Phones to be Banned In School

If we ban mobile phones in school, how are our kids going to say goodbye to us while they are being stalked by a shooter?

written by carina-eta, 20 June 2018
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Trump Tweets to be Appended to "Little Red Book"

Maoist scholars have been compiling all of His Orangeness's tweets, and, after careful deliberation, have deemed them to be just as insightful as the sayings of The Great Helmsman.

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 13 January 2018
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"Goop" Introduces Coal Egg

"Once you muster enough pelvic muscle strength to compress this baby into a diamond, you will have a beautiful gemstone to present to the man of your dreams," declared spokesmodel Gwyneth Paltrow.

written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw, 13 January 2018
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Big Brother to be Axed

Big Brother is set to be axed from Channel 5, due to a shortage of non-entities to appear on it.

written by Ben Macnair, 21 January 2018
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Time is money?

If, as my Grandpa used to say, "Time is money," why is it that I'm now sixty and not a whole wealthier than when I was forty?

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 24 January 2018
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@FBI arrests itself

In a bizarre action today, @FBI agents everywhere handcuffed themselves to each other in a move to avoid felony take-downs.

written by Aspartame Boy, 30 January 2018
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Name Change

Following the break-down of several negotiations, Teresa May has changed her name to Teresa Not on your Nelly.

written by Ben Macnair, 09 February 2018
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TV Surprise

There was a massive surprise on British Television today as the televisual comedian was only on terrestrial channels for 90 minutes.

written by Ben Macnair, 09 February 2018
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United States Stupidity Quotient

The S. Q. increased 16% in the first year of Trump's term of office. It now stands at 69%.

written by The Ruling Authority, 19 February 2018
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Trumped

Donald Trump's twitter feed has been quiet for a while now. It must be cooking up some new ideas.

written by Ben Macnair, 16 February 2018
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No, anyone but Boris

Boris Johnson is now in the running to play James Bond.....

written by Ben Macnair, 16 February 2018
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Trump Farts, Blames It On Obama

At 9:21am Eastern Standard Time this morning President Donald Trump laid a horrendous egg fart while shaking the hand of German leader Andrea Merkel. He quickly cited Obamacare as the likely cause.

written by ScottTalbotEvans, 18 February 2018
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Hunters Attempt to Take Back NRA

Unfortunately out-gunned by militias and gun lobbyists.

written by The Ruling Authority, 18 February 2018
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New Bill Would Give Guns Citizenship

Sen. Ted Cruz (TX-R) introduced a bill {BLAKA} that would give guns US citizenship, along with the right to vote and own weapons. Asked about how they felt about this bill a gun said "bang bang click"

written by Alexander Pence, 20 February 2018
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Decoding and Translation of Last Dead Sea Scroll Completed

Message Revealed: Let's Go Mets!

written by Gail Farrelly, 22 February 2018
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Jake Tapper's Plastic Surgery

Poor Jake Tapper. I have to think, years after Donald Trump is out of office (and hopefully in jail), he’ll need a plastic surgeon to get that “What the FUCK? Again!!” look off his face.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 15 March 2018
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So what do you call the leader of the Great Orange Race's crucifixion?

So what do you call Donald Trump's crucifixion? - Cross contamination!

written by Dr. Jackass and Mr. Hide, 22 March 2018
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Mail Explodes

The Daily Mail has run out of anti-Corbyn stories so is asking Spoof to help.

written by j.w., 25 March 2018
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Haiku Two

Did you ever think
That people who write haikus
Might be O. C. D.?

written by The Ruling Authority, 30 March 2018
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Charlemagne Was My Darling

Ely milkman Nicodemus Palge is selling his entire collection of Hittite Laundry Scrapers. "I need the room. Besides, they frighten the budgie", he explained, yesterday.

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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Embalmed Vicar Stars in New Reality Show

The Two David Livingstones have made significant additions to their kitchen. "We got a spatula, a bread board and a new set of trivets yesterday!" yelled David Livingstone, yesterday.

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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Embalmed Umpire Scandal Threatens Wimbledon

"Prince Charles is a decent bloke, really", claimed Buckingham Palace flunkey Raymond Parasite yesterday. "I just wish he wouldn't keep eels in the bath."

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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"Harry Potter is Bunk", Claims Ipswich Egg-Grader

More papier-mache busts of Hereward The Wake have appeared at Chichester pub The Running Sore. "We've had to cancel the Sunday Carvery - the dining room's full of these damned busts" says landlord Colin Drab."

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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Colon Surgery is the New Thursday

The papier-mache bust of Hereward The Wake crisis continues at Chichester pub The Running Sore. "It's costing us a fortune", claims landlord Colin Drab. "There's busts in all the rooms and even the urinals are full of them."

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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James Corden To Star In Every New Film

An aquatint etching of Malcolm Muggeridge playing leapfrog with Lulu on Saltcoats Pier while Hereward The Wake stares at a dish of rum babas has gone missing from David Hockney's garden shed.

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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Dutch Elm Disease Variant Threatens Beckhams

Pontefract hot water bottle designer Colin Artefact has had to abandon a project to reproduce the sandstone hot water bottles of the Hittites to commemorate Sir Walter Raleigh's execution. "You can't get the stone", he said yesterday.

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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Andrew Lloyd Webber's Nude Pogo Stick Hell

More Highlights from the Cretin Channel

21:00 Celebrity Jerk-Off
Can Professor Brian Cox wank higher than Salman Rushdie?

22:00 Movie: Robin Hood Goes to Seed, starring James Corden

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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Corpse Stars in Britain's Got Talent

"and Grimaldi had an army of imaginary soldier ants, while I think it was Martin Luther who kept an imaginary tapir in his ferret cages. Or was that Roy Castle?"

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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Easter Should be Banned Claims Salford Moron

His Holiness The Pope is not a fan of Easter. "Easter? What do I want with Easter already? Chocolate schmocolate. And with all these giant rabbits, oy, give them a bar mitzvah and we'll never see them again."

written by Erskin Quint, 02 April 2018
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RSPCA demands release of Schroedinger's Cat

dead or alive

written by Paxton Quigley, 28 March 2018
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Broken News!

THIS JUST IN: A Category 5 Tweetstorm descends on the White House. President Trump feared missing—until he was found on the shitter, angrily exercising his executive time.

written by Matt Birkenhauer, 02 April 2018
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Egg Nog Is The New Zambezi

Dorking bachelor Dick Palmer has not has much luck with on-line dating. "I was honest with my profile and listed my main hobbies as masturbating and wife-beating, but honesty doesn't seem to mean much these days."

written by Erskin Quint, 03 April 2018
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January
11
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February
30
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March
17
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April
39
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May
12
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June
23
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July
0
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August
0
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September
0
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October
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November
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