MPs in nappies?
The public wait with bated breath. Who are the MPs rumoured to have claimed for nappies (diapers) on their expenses. The electorate want to know if they were for personal use?
written by norma snockers, 09 May 2009
Wells Fargo Not Well, Fargo
US bank Wells Fargo has said it plans to raise $7.5bn (£4.9bn) from selling new shares, tickets to win a pony, a day after the US Treasury said 10 banks needed to boost reserves.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Medvedev Isues Stern Gibberish
Russian President Dmitri Medvedev has issued a stern warning to any countries considering what he called "military adventures".."Russian bear baiting"..United Notions" as he staggered off stage.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Chavez Taking Charge
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez has sent troops to take over companies providing services for the nation's oil industry, "comfort ladies" for his nation's troops.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Woody Allen Strike
Woody Allen continues his 20-day humor strike for the right of Saudis to marry eight year olds.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
No Toll In Fighting As Yet
Afghan death toll in latest fighting with Taliban not confirmed according to the latest United States/Afghan exit poll.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Chad Defence Minister Agrees With Gore
Chad has won a "decisive victory" over rebels in the east of the country, Defence Minister Younousmi said after 2 days of fierce fighting, & have agreed with Al Gore that there'll be no hanging Chads.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
"We've Done OUR Part"
Pope Benedict XVI has warned against the misuse of religion for political ends, in a speech to Muslim leaders on the second day of his visit to Jordan. "I've had the Crusaders lay down their weapons."
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Pakistan Fighting For It's Life
Pakistan's military is fighting "for the survival of the country against militants in the Swat valley", its prime minister told the U.N. today. "And your ass too if the Taleban get nuclear weapons."
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Zuma Speaks To Natives
"South Africa is facing hard times economically", its newly inaugurated President, Jacob Zuma, warned in his acceptance speech. "It's the middle of the night and I know you're all restless."
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Michelle's Work-Life Balance
Work-life balance a challenge, says Michelle Obama, but having White House staff of 107 helps some.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Pelosi Knew Says CIA
CIA Says Pelosi Was Briefed on Use of 'Enhanced Interrogations'. Her only question? "Why isn't he naked?"
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Jobless Rate, Not So Good
Employers Cuts 539,000 Jobs in April. Government hires 66,000...so let's see...473,000 more jobless!
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Marrying Chernobyl Women
The Rolling Stone Magazine reveals that many Sci-Fi geeks in the U.S. are marrying women from Chernobyl, hoping for Super Babies.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Salesman Shares Secret Of Success
Top salesman for the Hartford Insurance Company says that he stops and takes a power crap every day.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Richards Admits It
Keith Richards tells reporters of the Rolling Stone Magazine that, yes, he does take age-enhancing drugs.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Rice Credits Uncle
Condoleezza Rice says in her upcoming autobiography that the person who has influenced her life the most is her Uncle Ben.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Hacked Computers Reach 95%
New study reveals that 95 percent of all our computers have
been hacked by the Chinese, Russians or our CIA.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Obama Anti-NRA Moves
President Obama plans to make it harder for U.S. citizens to own firearms. "First our pistols, then our rifles, finally he'll come after our nukes", says NRA spokesman.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Stagflation Hits Home
Stagflation blamed for the big jump in the cost of deer hunting tags, taxidermists prices this fall.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
July's Pickle Magazine
July issue of Pickle Magazine to list the one hundred most beautiful pickles in the world.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Oil Company's Profits Up Again
Exxon/Mobile profits are up another 50%. Spokesman credits not replacing soap in bathrooms, removing floor and cutting bottoms out of commodes, urinals, recycling junk mail for toilet paper.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Docs Don't Warn Patients
Study: Only 50% of doctors ever advice their obese patients to lose weight. "What? And kill the fatted goose that lays the golden eggs?"
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Greenpeace Of Mind
Greenpeace lady finally completely cracks, runs into a crowded restaurant and frees gold fish crackers before being hauled away to nuthouse.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Dyslexic Humor Writers
People who write funny one-liner news messages in hopes of getting one on a humor site are three times as likely to be dyslexic, according to the latest yduts.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Marrying Dad-types
Study shows that many women marry men who remind them of their dads, thus setting off the son-in-law vs mother-in-law feud from day one.
written by Bureau, 09 May 2009
Google Goats to Cut Grass in Green Effort
Google have hired a herd of goats to mow lawns at their offices in efforts to cut down on pollution. Their CO2 emissions are negligible, but their methane emissions are very high according to the WWF.
written by IN SEINE, 09 May 2009
Plumber Gives Birth to Twin Brother -- Alien Style!
It burst out from his belly! A plumber from Oxford 'gave birth' to a parasitic twin brother. "He could have been a politician - It's so embarrassing!" Said the surprised 30-year-old today.
written by IN SEINE, 09 May 2009
The bowl of plenty
Revelations that Labour hard man, John Prescott has claimed for repairs to two toilet seats under the free loading MP expenses scheme is being taken as further evidence that he is in fact, a fat git
written by Ricardo Fromage, 09 May 2009
High Brow expenses
The Chancellor, Alistair Darling claimed over 400 pounds of British taxpayers money in 2007 for eybrow tinting and trimming. The taxpayers are asking for a public enquiry.
written by Ricardo Fromage, 09 May 2009
Jamie's tongue in cheek
Following on from the worlds first full face transplant, celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has asked the same medical team to conduct a tongue reduction operation in order for his to fit into his mouth.
written by Ricardo Fromage, 09 May 2009
England's Best Dressed Celebrity
Cheryl Cole was named The Best Dressed Celebrity in England. Susan Boyle came in 413th and Elton John took 529th place. Amy Winehouse failed to make the Top 10,000.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 May 2009
The Lip Syncer Formerly Known As Jamie Lynn Spears
Jamie Lynn Spears in an attempt to get out of the spotlight of her older sister Britney states that she will be changing her name to Jamie Lynn Aguilera.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 May 2009
Low Profile Mel Gibson
Mel Gibson in order to keep a low profile during his on-going divorce situation has taken a job as a fry cook at a Brooklyn Burger King.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 May 2009
A-Rod Admits Mix-Up
New York Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez said that he just remembered. It wasn't steroids that he took, it was Altoids.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 May 2009
The Movie Slumdog By Any Other Name
For some inexplicable reason, the Academy Award-Winning Motion Picture Slumdog is being billed in Egypt as Slumswine.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 May 2009
John Edward's Ex-Book Writing Mistress
The mistress of Senator John Edwards, 45-year-old Rielle Hunter, aka Lisa Jo Druck, aka Lisa Hunter, has just published her first book. It is entitled, I Could Have Been The First Mistress.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 09 May 2009
