Scientolgists On Trial In France
Scientologists in France go on trial for fraud. Could lead to the group being dissolved in country, according to a leading Huguenot.
Czar He Blows
Obama set to create a Cybersecurity Czar, a Supreme Income Tax Czar, a Communications Czar, an Automotive Czar and a Czar of all Czars, Czar!
Vienna Boys Choir Unique
The beginnings of the Vienna Boys Choir was finally announced in a Vienna newspaper today: It was discovered years ago that the boys have the highest range because their Vienna sausages are so small.
Monkey Back At S.D. Zoo
The San Diego Zoo had to be closed for several hours Tuesday until a very agitated monkey could be rounded up. "We had to use a stun dart", stated one officer. "The monkey suddenly went ape on us!"
Anna Nicole Smith
The death of Anna Nicole Smith still raising questions whenever a newspaper, magazine or snippet news writer runs out of something to write about. So what do you think happened?
Obama/Cheney Battle Continues
President Barack Obama has hosted a poetry reading session at the White House. Former VP Cheney states that he hosted a poetry reading night also, mostly limericks.
It's A Political Secret
American, British economy leaving record numbers in severe poverty. However, politicians in both US and Briton seem to be doing well.
Looking For Alan Shepherd
Alien finally tracks down home planet of golf ball that was hit on the moon by Alan Shepherd in 1971. He's big, green, armed with a death ray gun and has a knot the size of a hen's egg on his Norb.
AA's New 15-Step Program
A new 15-step program has began by Alcoholics Anonymous for those who have fallen off the wagon after the completed the ten-step program.
Washington Stall Poem
Discovered on Washington bathroom wall: "Here I sit, and barely gotten squatted, when Senator Craig's toe-tapping started."
Supporters Question Obama
After nearly five months in office, Obama supporters are asking the President about the cure for death he promised while campaigning.
FBI Raid Cousin Compound
FBI authorities have raided a West Virginia Cousin Compound after news came out of Wheeling, West Virginia that there was a pissing contest for the next Cousin Elder.
Guv Reduces Sex Offender Checks
Government reduces checks on high-risk sex offenders living in the community after nearly 100 of those checking were repeatedly attacked last year.
No Gay Marriage!
California Supreme Court outlaws gay marriage sparking outrage among liberals, hetero marriages celebrating by "coupling" in the streets!
Makes His Point
Hospital security guard quits because she can't bear to charge distressed patients to use car park, especially "those poor blokes with the Viagra lasting over four hours."
Nuns in Hell?
Players from a Bristol football team ended up in a Cretan prison for 48 hours for going to a party dressed as naughty nuns. "It was sheer hell - we shalln't be making a habit of it!" said the Captain.
New "Swerve Test" Could Kill, Say Bikers
UK motorcyclists say that the new "swerve test" could actually kill you - especially in the case of swerving the wrong way into the path of a 40-ton juggernaut!
Robbery at stationery shop
A thief broke into a stationery shop in Ludlow, Shropshire, on Sunday. The only thing stolen was a calendar. The thief got 12 months!
Junior Apprentice Hits Snag!
The BBC is to show a group of youngsters going through their paces with Sir Alan Sugar. However, they have hit a snag - the employment under age children!
Joe Biden, A Man Of Few Pauses
Nancy Pelosi apparently got tired of contradicting herself & left for China. With her gone and Obama occupied with Cheney, modest Joe Biden has finally came out of his bashful shell.
Prez Vs Prez
Cheney and Obama are still going at it this week. Obama said that Cheney had failed as a leader and Cheney says that Obama is a wuss against terrorists. Of course, most prez hate the previous one.
North Korea Might End Up Attacking Itself
North Korea sets off an underground nuclear bomb test. PetSmart reports that over 8,000 gophers were killed.
The Texas Pit Bulls Are Moving
The Texas Legislature is going to pass a law making it illegal to own a pit bull in the state. Gov. Perry says that all pit bulls in Texas will be rounded up and dumped in neighboring New Mexico.
A Change In The Catholic Churches of Detroit
The nation's economic crisis has now affected the Catholic Churches in Detroit. Monsignor Bobby has stated that starting next week all Detroit Catholic Churches will close at noon.
Portugal Says "No" To Amy Winehouse
Amy Winehouse has just been banned from entering Portugal. The official reason given by the government of Portugal is that "Amy Winehouse is just too gosh darn scary."
Tiny Tim's Amazing Voice!
Tiny Tim's Diary: Why the high voice? When I was young, my parents couldn't afford a doctor when I got sick, so they used to take my dog to the vet & project my illness onto him. One day he humped..."
"You're Terminated, Sucker!"
A bumbling museum night guard single-handedly destroyed SkyNet over the Memorial Day weekend. Police are investigating the incident as part of a larger terrorism conspiracy.
written by Kilroy, 26 May 2009
Toon go down
Newcastle has gone down which has nothing to do with football just the normal goings on every Friday night by the young ladies of the above mentioned place, allegedly.
written by Ricardo Fromage, 26 May 2009
Gibson Sets Rules
Mel Gibson, whose Russian girlfriend is pregnant, stated yesterday that if it's a boy, you can pretty well rule out circumcision.
NKorea Alarming Neighbors
Should the world worry about North Korea? "Not any more" say Japanese couple who are moving to Canada after witnessing missile flying overhead in Kyoto, Japan.
Brit's Longest Living Couple
Britain's longest living married couple have celebrated their 81st wedding anniversary. Both Milfords are well over six feet long.
Journalists Missed Watergate
Two former New York Times journalists have admitted that they let slip one of the biggest stories of all time - the Watergate scandal. "Forrest Gump called us but we thought he was nuts."
About Walcott Resignation
First woman to become the Oxford Professor of Poetry has apologized for her role in the smear campaign which led her to resign. "I hope I never hear another limerick as long as I live", says Walcott.
Rooks Using Tools
Rooks have a remarkable aptitude for using tools, scientists have found. But many neighborhoods are becoming disturbed by the noise of tiny jackhammers at 3AM in the morning.
South Africa Joins Rest Of The World
The South African economy has gone into recession for the first time since 1992, following a sharp slowdown in the manufacturing and mining sectors. "It's about time", states rest of the world.
Good news for those who want to know...
The economy is so bad, and that people in Africa are sponsoring children in America for just $22.00 a month.
written by norma snockers, 26 May 2009
World Markets Shaken
World markets shaken by North Korea's missile tests as one of the missiles blows away a secret off-shore banking facility.
Stiff at Last!
Robert Furchgott, credited with pioneering work which eventually led to inventing the drug Viagra, has sadly died aged 92.
written by norma snockers, 26 May 2009
Which Students Most In Debt?
Which colleges leave students with the most debt? Experts meet and come to the conclusion that it's the higher priced ones.
We're All Ready
Crisis spurs spike in 'suburban survivalists' as suburbans plant small gardens, load up on nutrition bars, set bear traps and trigger explosives around premises, pots of boiling oil on rooftops.
Nikon Cuts Jobs
Japanese camera maker Nikon Corp. said Tuesday that it would cut 1,000 jobs, mostly at its domestic plants, as it braces for a loss this year. Thousands come out to photograph workers leaving plants.