Horny Teacher Re-Instated
Teacher who had baby with former pupil and was allowed to keep her job, caught going at it with the janitor in the gym.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Brits Flee Caterpillars
Plague of hairy caterpillars which cause rashes, headaches, penis to fall off and breathing problems invades Britain.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Moderates Drive Away Extremists
Extremists behind anti-war protest driven off the streets by moderate Muslims who cut off their heads.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
BBC Apologizes To Islamic Leaders
BBC offers £30,000 and an apology for Question Time 'slur' on crazy-ass mad Islamic leaders over anti-war protest.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Got A Buzz On!
A restaurant "Buzzer" that lets you know when your table is ready, has electrocuted couple waiting in bar after one spills drink.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Pelosi's Book Jumps To 10,273rd Place
Lest we forget, House Speaker's Nancy Pelosi's book, "Woman Of The House" has now moved up to #10,273 on bestseller' list.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Who Would Have Thought?
Israel's ability to wage another war against the militant Hezbollah may have been compromised by an unprecedented wave of arrests of Israelis in Lebanon alleged to have been spying for the Israelis.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
India Announces Generosity
The government of the Indian state of Maharashtra has announced it will give new homes to the two child stars of the Slumdog Millionaire film. Could even include a few bucks spending money.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
That Should Teach Them
The US "will not accept" a nuclear-armed North Korea, Defense Secretary Robert Gates has told an Asian summit. They will get no further party invitations from us. Japan, South Korea joins snub.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Natural Gas Russian
Natural gas in the Arctic is mostly Russian, states major study. Russia credits it to high fiber diet of those living in the far north.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Cruisers Have Swine Flu
Australian cruiser docks after swine flu outbreak. Will kep passengers "penned up" until they get that all-clear from doctors aboard.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Nuggets Out Again
Denver's chicken Nuggets fail to make it to the National Basketball League finals once again.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Prince Harry' Play Time
Prince Harry gets play time on 2nd day of NYC trip, beginning in the designated hittle's spot during Yankees game Saturday night.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Chrysler Awaits Fate
Bankruptcy looms for General Motors; Chrysler drops it's pants, bends over and awaits it's fate.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Leno Hands Over Tonight Show
After 17 years, Leno hands 'Tonight' show over to Conan as his chin drops another half inch.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Future Of Newspapers Digital, Claims Expert
News Corp. chairman Rupert Murdoch said on Thursday that the future of newspapers is digital, while having a major brainstorm!
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
This Spud's For You!
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is handing out potatoes to poor to buy presidential votes in Iran.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Burglar Back In News
US National Archives offered 50,000 dollars Friday for the recovery of a missing computer hard drive containing sensitive personnel data from the Clinton years, sneaked out in Sandy Burglar's pants.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
President Still Learning The Ropes
President appears to have learned of the existence of a Defense Department intelligence arm, the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency, from an agency employee also at the same burger restaurant.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Sotomayor: Poor Choice Of Words"
Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor under intensifying scrutiny for saying that a female Hispanic judge would reach a better decision than a pale white honky male judge. "Poor choice of words."
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Pentagon Reassures Public
Pentagon officials say that the U.S. could intercept a Korean missile, send it back towards where it was launched, or not.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Dyslexic Girl Wins American Spelling Bee Championship
An 11-year-old Indian American girl has become the spelling bee queen of 2009. The girl who is dyslexic, was asked how to spell Indian Ocean, but it actually came out as Laodicean.
written by IN SEINE, 30 May 2009
Addressing the "Ouch" Factor
The World Wide Health Unification Federation (WWHUF)has informed the African nation of Kenya that it is banning its age old practice of using jungle vines as athletic supporters.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 May 2009
The Portuguese Pork Rinds
The Portuguese Health Organization has put out a warning to Portugal's citizenry that they can partake of pork rinds just as long as they do not swallow them.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 May 2009
The Un-Icelandic Pedicurists
Iceland angry at the continuing arrogance of North Korea regarding its missile program wants the 274 North Korean pedicurists currently residing in Iceland to leave by June 19, of this year.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 30 May 2009
Time and Redhead Dimension in Snog
Och aye the Who! Producers have given Doctor Who his first ginger companion since Donna Noble. Sexy Scottish actress Karen Gillan, 21, will clash with the TARDIS interior opposite Matt Smith, 940.
written by neilwatson, 30 May 2009
UFO's In The News
Those close to him say that every time there's a major UFO sighting that medallion around Al Sharpton's neck glows green!
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Lions Changing Name?
The 0-16 Detroit Lions may change their name to the Detroit Bailouts for the 2009 season.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Coronet Peak Tragedy
Ski authorities at Coronet Peak reported this morning that they have had another tragedy at Mount Avalanche!
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Enjoy Sex On The Beach While You Can
Al Gore, Mr. Cheerful himself, warns everybody at the party, "Better enjoy those 'Sex on the Beach' while you can. The beaches will all be gone soon enough."
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Abe No Beauty
Historians agree that Abraham Lincoln was no beauty but still better looking than Mary Todd Lincoln.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
TV Not To Blame
New study shows that violence in movies and videos only leads to more violence on television.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Washington Going Nuts
The economy is driving everybody in Washington nuts. G.M. cars to be made in China. President Obama sends 10,000 campus police to Afghanistan.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
Just A Few
Archaeologists now say that Cro-Magnon Man was able to fashion a few tools, rude remarks.
written by Bureau, 30 May 2009
