Vanna To Miss Some Shows
Regis has reported that Vanna White will be missing the next few episodes of Wheel Of Fortune due to Loose Vowel Syndrome.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Feherty Apologizes
Golf analyst Feherty sorry for Pelosi joke in Dallas magazine but stands by statement that Pelosi IS a joke.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Brown Red-Faced
GORDON Brown was red-faced again last night after his MAKE-UP tips, prescriptions for Viagra and hemmoroid cream were left in a taxi by a bungling aide.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Somali Pirates Getting Inside Help
Somali pirates 'get targets from London informers', telling them just where the city is weakest in case boats can maneuver into channel.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
The Egyptians claim that Nefertiti's bust is a fake!
A row has broken out between Germany and Egypt. The Germans say that Queen Nefertiti had a 44 inch chest, Egypt refutes any these claims by saying there were no such thing as implants in those days.
written by norma snockers, 11 May 2009
Two Injured In Tennessee
Two people were injured in Townsend, Tennessee when car that was up on blocks with "Just Married" sign on it and tin cans tied to the back bumper, was rocked off it's blocks.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
More Drug Shootouts
Still more drug shootouts between rival drug gangs in Mexico lat night near the US border in La Violencia, once known as the winter home of the Monarch Butterflies.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Coco Gee Go!
A coco farmer in Bogota, Columbia spotted doing over 110 miles per hour on tractor!
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Passing The Buck!
Owner, Manager, Demolition Crew all blame each other over misunderstanding that led to sports stadium being flattened during game.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Shake Shake Shake!
Number One on the Amish Top One Hundred List for the 52nd week in a row, "Shake Your Buggy, Shake Your Buggy!"
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
NYT Article Expose'
Copy of The New York Times with headlines, "American Consumers Rank At The Very Bottom In Environmental Consciousness" spotted blowing across Madison Avenue.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Shoppers Being Duped
Shoppers are being duped by cheap copycat versions of popular brands of everything from shampoo to biscuits, it has been claimed. "The shampoo looked just like real poo to me", stated one shopper.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Tycoon Has Second Family
Fund tycoon in £11m divorce row had a secret second family living round the corner from his wife. Wife: "I need to get out more."
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Same Sort Of Trademark
Headless body found wrapped in sack and dumped in a lagoon is believed by police to be the work of the same person who put a head in a sack and threw it in lagoon yesterday.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Chef Refuses To Cook Pork
Muslim chef 'refused to cook sausages and bacon for police officers' breakfasts'. "No wonder they call them "pigs" says chef.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
House made of shells in Harry Potter film must be demolished
A house made completely from shells, to feature in the new Harry Potter film must be demolished for it was not built with planning permission, according to Pembroke District Council.
written by norma snockers, 11 May 2009
Sir Ridley Scott fined for paying below minimum wage
Film director, Sir Ridley Scott, has been fined for paying the soldiers in the new Robin Hood film, below the minimum wage. He only paid them 2 shillings each (which was a lot of money in those days).
written by norma snockers, 11 May 2009
Edgar Allan Poe's Real Last Name
Edgar Allan Poe's real name was Edgar Allan Poetry. His father changed it because he said that it sounded a little too poetic.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 May 2009
The Santa Barbara Wildfires: He Was Just Clearing A Little Brush
The Santa Barbara wildfires have burned 8,000 acres and destroyed over 30 homes. They were started by a man using a power tool. Meanwhile the Brentwood earthquake was caused by Kirstie Alley jogging.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 May 2009
The Real Dickens' Author
CNN News has learned that Charles Dickens did not write the two epic novels 'A Christmas Carol' and 'David Copperfield.' Both were actually written by the wife of Dickens' gardener Palomita Juarez.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 May 2009
"Spin The Bottle" Quick!
The U.S. Health Department has just announced that due to the H1N1 Flu they are initiating a nation-wide ban on the party game "Spin The Bottle."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 May 2009
Hannity & O'Reilly (The Foxers)
Dick Cheney has reportedly confided to a very close friend that the whole Weapons of Mass Destruction lie was just simply a ploy dreamed up by Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 May 2009
The New Jersey Fantasy Baseball League
The state of New Jersey has announced they'll be investigating the charges that some of the players in The State's Fantasy Baseball League may have used performance enhancing drugs (i.e. steroids).
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 May 2009
The War of 1812?
Historians have recently discovered that The War of 1812, was actually fought in 1813. But they say that the cost of changing the date in all of the school books would cost an astonishing $18 million.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 May 2009
Wisconsin's "Dibble Dabble"
The swimming pool game known as 'Dibble Dabble' has been banned in Wisconsin because of the recent reports of widespread cheating throughout the state.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 11 May 2009
Home Schooling Drawback
Study: While home-schooled children score horribly in world geography, most can name you every single item in every room of their house.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Fly On The Wall
Man who got his wish about being a fly on the wall in the Clinton's bedroom gets squashed by rolled up newspaper during Bill's head beating.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Obama Appreciates Sykes Humor
President Obama laughs at Wanda Sykes joke about Rush
Limbaugh: 'I hope his kidneys fail'...falls on floor laughing when she states: "I hope Cheney's heart explodes! Ashcroft gets Swine Flu & dies!"
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Nike's New Shoes
Nike has introduced a new line of elevator shoes that not only look natural but play Yanni, Manilow tunes while you're wearing them.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Scientists Mark Anniversary
Scientists mark fifty years of trying to contact intelligence anywhere in the universe, but have given up after the last administration in Washington.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
A-Rod Took Steroids Early?
A new book that has just came out says that A-Rod of Yankees took steroids in high school, Bobby Bonds in Kindergarten.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
New "Fargo II"
John Carpenter has announced that he is to do the new movie, "Fargo II, The Return Of Woodchopper Head!"
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
New 300 MPG Car
The good news: A new car has just came out that gets 300 MPG. The bad news: It looks just like a big turd.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
It's For A Greater Cause
Local liberal politician orders Guatemalan house slave to make the family a fresh pot of fair-trade coffee.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Obama After Offshore Tax Havens
President Obama orders crack down on offshore tax havens after learning that most people placed their stimulus package in offshore tax havens.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Study: Keep On Reading Humor Sites
A new study just released by humor site says obesity in the US due more to overeating that sitting around reading humor, as they can actually cause you to chuckle off a pound or two every month.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
New Star Trek Movie
New Star Trek movie of when the original crew were young may have visitors drop by like Andy Griffith, Matt Dillon, Jerry Matthers as the Beaver.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Solar Flares Could Be A Blast
Scientists say that new solar flares could wipe out all electrical grids, guidance systems in cars and other inconveniences, like setting off nuclear rockets, melting the earth.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
New Soft Drinks Actually Old
New Pepsi "Throwback" drink is being made with sugar instead of corn syrup. Coke may re-introduce their original recipe with cocaine, the "Monkeyback"
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Gitmo Prisoners Back To Saudi Arabia?
The Obama administration may send most of the Gitmo prisoners to Saudi Arabia for re-education headquarters just next door to where most were originally trained as terrorists.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Pakistan Settling Down
The CIA say things have settled down more in Pakistan and that their nuclear arms are now being carefully guarded by the Taliban who sneaked in during the night.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Banks, Auto Companies Need More
Hurting banks and auto companies in the U.S. say they may need another five hundred billion just to pay off lobbyists and bought off members of congress.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Masked Robbery In Mexico During Swine Flu
A masked robbery of banks in Nagales, Mexico has led police to review the bank videos and narrow suspects down to two million.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Newspapers Disappearing
The disappearance of newspapers with so many people getting their news on the net, has caused a panic among bird owners across the nation.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Sir Fred not banking on St Andrews
Sir Fred Goodwin, the person solely responsible for the UK recession has been refused entry to St. Andrews. He said" I don't know why, I don't even like football or Birmingham for that matter"
written by Ricardo Fromage, 11 May 2009
Swine Flu stikes at Parliament
One of the sure signs that swine flu has hit parliament is that the snouts are in the trough.
written by The world of BoB, 11 May 2009
Obama's Teleprompter Steals Show
President Barack Obama's teleprompter was such a comedy hit at a press gathering over the weekend that it's agreed to be a guest on Letterman this week.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Final PETA Request
Dying lifetime member of PETA requests that her body be left along side the road in a drainage ditch.
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
Smoke Signals Over Factory
Puffs of smoke from Native American Moccasin factory moving to Mexico spells out "Everything going to Happy Hunting Ground In A Hand basket".
written by Bureau, 11 May 2009
