Airport Security Having Problems
The nation's airport security people say they're having trouble with the new teenage fad, spleen jewelry.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Up To Him, Now
Experts say GM bankruptcy is almost inevitable unless that one guy in Champaign, Illinois purchases that Buick Lesabre.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Amish Graduates Select Theme Song
This year's Amish Graduates in Pennsylvania choose "Buggy Nights" as their Prom Theme Song.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Clown Honked Funny
Study: In the past five years, over 50 "Renaldo McDonald, The Clowns" have been discovered and deported.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
New Ceasefire Commercials Kinda Silly
Smokey The Bear says to President Obama: "Remember Barack, only You can create a ceasefire in the Middle East!"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Chemical Factory Beautiful
Substance in chemical factory coming up out of it's chimneys creates one of the most beautiful sunsets ever seen.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Post-Sex Smoking Not The MOST Harmful
Health officials say post-sex smoking just as harmful as smoking any other time. But much less harmful than both partners smoking DURING sex.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Obama's New Program
President Obama begins new "Helping the poor helping themselves" raises the price of aluminum cans to ten cents each.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Little Late For That Now
Nelson Mandela learns that after spending twenty years in prison, all he had to do was click his heels three times and say, "There's no place like home."
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Seen Him Before
Guy on that old Budweiser commercial with the monkeys found shot to death on "Homeland Security, USA"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Cartoon Characters Fed Up
Other cartoon characters say they are sick and tired of Bob Squarepants sponging cigarettes and money off of them.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
And Another One's Gone
White House gardener resigns after it was discovered that he had not paid any taxes for twenty years.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Vanilla Extract Addiction
Man completely hooked on vanilla extract admits he needs help after getting up at night and eating his kids birthday cake.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Beatles Song Banned
Due to global warming, authorities say the Beatles song, "Good Day Sunshine" should be banned from the airwaves.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Reverend Jeremiah Wright (Obama's Favorite Pastor) Back in the News
Says "Swine Flu is a disease that the white folks bio-engineered to kill Mexicans."
written by unknown
Labor: Jobs Out There
The United States Department of Labor says there are jobs out there if you'll look for them, especially at oil companies, printing signs for house sales & fore-closings and suicide hot line operators.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Madoff Tired Of Jokes
Bernie Madoff in jail cell complained to a judge Friday about jail guards with their, "AAAyyy Ponzi, your girlfriend, Pinky Tuscadero is here to see you."
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
"Viagra Plus" Introduced
Viagra introduces "Viagra Plus" which not only gives you an erection but tickles your balls at the same time.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Shocking WWII Account
Breathtaking account of one of Second World War's most dangerous jobs....official taster for Winston Churchill!
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Public Screwed Again
£10bn H&M tycoon gets a £53k upgrade to his private trout stream (courtesy of you know who). Did you feel it slide in during the night?
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Attenborough To Reaveal Missing Link?
Is David Attenborough set to reveal the Missing Link in human evolution? Reporters say SOMETHING is rattling it's cage in the back.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Bear Grylls Injured
Intrepid TV adventurer Bear Grylls has had emergency surgery after almost severing one finger and slicing off the tip of another while filming his latest show, "Homemade Vegematics".
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
NASCAR's New Banned Substance Testing
NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield failed a random drug test. Early reports are pointing to the banned substance as being tea.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 May 2009
Horrible Mother Wanted Better School For Son!
Mother facing a year in jail for trying to get her son into a better school, or could be handed over to the Taliban for punishment. Meanwhile world's politicians continue to rob their citizens blind.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Brown Becoming Unpopular
Brown the most unpopular since polling began, three points below Adolf Hitler during WWII, as many asking him to leave "Immediately if not sooner".
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Looks Like Things Will Be OK
British official who signed off MPs' expenses didn't even have accountancy qualification. Sigh of relief all through parliament as FINALLY there's someone else to blame.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Kissinger Back?
Insiders say Henry Kissinger has been brought in to help advise President Obama on Mideast situation, given a special office in the mother-in-law's walk-in closet.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
FEMA Strike Team?
A recent Senate peport: FEMA's Regional Offices should be reorganized into "Strike Teams" that can leave immediately to disaster area in less that two weeks time.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Some Businesses Leaving Iraq
Sex Trade Boom "bottoms out" in Baghdad as pimps lead move to Afghanistan, along with U.S., U.N. troops. Opium already cheaper there.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Miss California - The Bra Model?
More topless photos of Miss California have surfaced. The last two brings the total topless photos to 947 (so far). Wow! When did she have time to enter beauty pageants?
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 May 2009
Good Old Cloris Leachman
Cloris Leachman, 103, has just been signed to star in "Dancing With The Stars - The Movie."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 May 2009
The Swedish Baby Named "Q"
The Supreme Court in Sweden has forbidden a couple from naming their new baby "Q." The court sighted a law that says that a baby name cannot consist of just one letter. So the couple named him "7."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 May 2009
The GOP's "Addams Family"
Fox has just announced the 2009 version of the TV sitcom "The Addams Family." Gomez will be played by Sean Hannity, Morticia will be played by Ann Coulter, and Rush Limbaugh will play Uncle Fester.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 May 2009
The Ex-Adding Machines
Due to the continued negative state of the nation's economy, IBM will be changing the name of their adding machines to subtracting machines.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 10 May 2009
Oats Hurting Fuel Costs
Prices of oats hit the roof. Amish, Mennonites looking for smaller horses, ponies, goats that eat bushes.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Winehouse Abandons Concert
Amy Winehouse was forced to abandon a concert at the St Lucia Jazz festival because of "technical difficulties" when she spilled some liquid on the sound equipment, a spokesman has said.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Ahmadinejad Personally Inspects Reporter
A court in Iran has heard an appeal from jailed US-Iranian reporter Roxana Saberi, two days earlier than originally expected, for president Ahmadinejad's personal inspection after photos released.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Swine Flu Windfall
Swine flu is windfall for some top tourism spots as swine flu free Butte, Montana home of world's biggest ball of twine over
ran by those usually on Mexican beaches.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Pelosi In Iraq To Appear In Headlines
US House speaker Pelosi in Iraq discusses economy, geting her name back into news headlines after pirates, swine flu and "Obama, Obama, Obama!"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Snake Surprises In NY, Arizona
US restaurant chain to probe snake in broccoli at TGI Fridays in New York, also in lady's boyfriend's box of popcorn in his lap at theater in Arizona.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
VP Biden's Advice To Syracuse Grads
Vice President Joe Biden offered some words of advice to this year's graduating class at Syracuse University. "Even if you get bald as a bowling ball, never start in with these horrible hair plugs.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Reporter's Annual Dinner
Obama the star at reporters' annual dinner. Reporter's ass-kissing line the longest in history of the event.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Pope Encourages Christians
Pope urges Middle East Christians to persevere "until we can get our armies ready to free you from these morons"
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Hayek and Hayek
Friedrich August von Hayek and his Austrian Business Cycle Theory are as sexy as Salma Hayek, Nobel Memorial Laureate Paul Krugman said. "Blow me down!"
written by J.K. Baltzersen, 10 May 2009
Washington Office Closed Down
The Washington office of The Spoof has been shut down under the Patriot Act. We will NOT have more on this story.
written by J.K. Baltzersen, 10 May 2009
MLB Cracking Down!
Major League Baseball to get tough on steroid use and allow only three designated ass injectors per team.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Scince Perfects Implants
American scientists say new breast implants may give off an alarm if one of them is about to flop out.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
On This Day In 1492
On this day in 1492, Christopher Columbus first named the people already here, Native Americans, thinking he had found a new route to Native Amir, India.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
New Stimulus Package
New stimulus package to allow for up to $100 of $250 to be placed on "Run To Glory" in the fifth at Belmont.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
Al "Ole Gloom & Doom" Gore
Al Gore: Your children's children will never get to see a snowman dance and play with his magic hat. (Cheerful bloke this Al Gore person. More like Boris Karloff every day)
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
White House Disturbance
Ghost of John F. Kennedy at White House says he can't scratch his ass without Obama's mother-in-law screaming her head off.
written by Bureau, 10 May 2009
