Beatles Reunite
Former Beatles Sir Paul McCartney and his Garfunkel, Ringo Starr performed together at a New York charity show on Saturday night.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Track Star Denied Booster
Tennessee track star, Gomer Gump, drops out of the next Boston Marathon after his trademark, lighting farts for sudden bursts of speed, have been outlawed.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Fans Denied Halftime Show
The National Football League has vetoed fans vote to have Michael Vick released along with 50 pit bulls at halftime during next year's Super Bowl.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
NBC News Up, Could Be A Fluke
NBC News is actually up a notch in the ratings after their male reporters put on pink lipstick and women reporters began wearing rainbow wigs. Of course, it could just be a fluke!
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Remember McMorons? You're Getting Old!
It was thirty five years ago today on this date, April 5th in 1974, that McMorons officially changed their name to McDonalds.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Name That Stiff!
Former Vice Present Al Gore was almost buried by mistake after attending a family members funeral in Knoxville.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Bush: No Thank You Note!
Queen Elizabeth II has had a "Thank You" note sent to the Obamas for their iPod gift. George Bush upset, claims he never received anything after presenting wooden Spoon, Fork to display on the wall.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Rats Terrified Of Madonna
Terrified rats coming back to Malawi once Madonna safely seen to leave after failing to adopt another child.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Beatles back together again!
Former Beatles Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr performed together at a New York charity show on Saturday night. However, John Lennon and George Harrison were there in spirit!
written by IN SEINE, 05 April 2009
And Now It's Miley's Turn
Miley Cyrus wants to adopt an African baby. The way that these famous celebrities are going pretty soon there will be more African babies in America than American babies.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
Them Good Ol' KKK Basketball Playin' Boys
The Ku Klux Klan has filed a discrimination lawsuit against the NCAA Basketball Tournament stating that the number of redneck players compared to Black players is tremendously disproportionate.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
The Boston Globe May Be Going Bye-Bye
BAD NEWS, GOOD NEWS: The bad news is the 137-year-old Boston Globe Newspaper may shut down due to the enonomic crisis. The good news is that it will only affect about 83 readers.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
The Georgia Crackers
Oprah Winfrey has bought an old abandoned crack house in Atlanta. She plans to renovate it and turn it into a cracker house.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
Joaquin Phoenix's African Baby
Joaquin Phoenix wants to adopt an African baby. He says he'll teach the baby all about African culture, such as lion trapping, famine, Tarzan, drooping mammary glands, nose bones, and mouth dishes.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
New Nintendo DSi Great!
New Nintendo DSi console launches with music player, sex toy, camera, corkscrew, bottle opener and online gaming ability.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Scientists Admit Mistake
Scientists apologize for Cartwheel in the sky story. The kaleidoscopic galaxy said to be 500million light years from Earth is, in truth, only 473million light years from earth.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Another Miracle Operation
Woman having kidney removed through her belly button in pioneering operation most miraculous thing since angry husband pulled wife's boyfriend's balls out of his ass.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Lithium 3rd Metal
Lithium is the wonder metal that fires your phone, iPod & new electric car is so clean it may save the planet. Law officials warn that carrying much with you at any time could endanger your life.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Fastest Kettle?
The Wider View: British supercar that's known as the fastest kettle in the world since Ma and Pa Kettle during the 1950's.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
NASA's Mars Rover Acting Up
NASA's Rover digs up bone on Mars, refuses to turn it over to the lab people, buries it again elsewhere.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Darling Admits He Was Wrong
I underestimated seriousness of the recession: Darling FINALLY admits he was far too optimistic, while selling apples on the street.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Brit Soldier Hates Assumption
Social workers said because I was a soldier I was more likely to be violent to my own children, certainly won't be able to do that again, after I finished with their lot.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Britons Basking In Sunshine
Britons basking in the glorious sunny weather in the hottest weekend of the year, send message to Al Gore to bugger off!
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Facebook Friend Saves Young Man's Life
Facebook friend saves the life of suicidal teenager from the other side of the Atlantic by closing out, jumping on plane and arriving just in time to knock poisoned soda out of his hand.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Blair Taking In Millions
Tony Blair, the world's best paid public speaker after receiving almost £400,000 for two half-hour speeches in the Philippines, including quoting from an old Monte Python sketch, talking his head off!
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
We're Already Listed
Within two years, hospitals, pharmacies, ambulancemen and other NHS officials across the country will have instant access to everyone's health records. The Spoof writers already being listed as nuts.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
At Public Expensive Of Course
Seven MPs have been condemned for going on a £70,000 trip to New Zealand to investigate binge-drinking - with some of them staying on until their hangover gets better.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Home Sweet Home
Three homes Hoon: Iraq war Minister claimed expenses on one home, rented out second ...and lived in third for free. Could get a fourth one with bars.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
News You've Been Waiting For
The people of the former Yugoslav republic of Macedonia are voting in the final round of their presidential election. Everyone on earth can now release their breath.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Tamil Tigers Defeated
Sri Lanka's military has taken all rebel-held territory in the north-east and pushed the Tamil Tigers into a no-fire zone set up for civilians. They are now the "Detroit Lions" claims military leader.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Ice Bridge Snaps
An ice bridge linking a shelf of ice the size of Jamaica to two islands in Antarctica has snapped. Scientists blame Blubberbutt the Sea Lion.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
One Way To Cut Crime
States pull back after decades of get-tough laws because they can no longer afford to jail them. Several seeking to pay North Korea to take them in and releasing them on streets.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
FBI: Be Extra In Coming Weeks
In the coming weeks hundreds of thousands of jobless Americans will exhaust their unemployment checks when it's even harder to find a job. FBI warns to especially be on lookout for ex-postal workers.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Suicide Bomber Kills One
An autistic suicide bomber has blown up one person this morning in Baghdad, Iraq.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
New Rock Inductees
Metallica, Run-DMC and Milli Vanilli all inducted into the Rock Hall of Fame this weekend in Cleveland as inductees sang, played and mouthed the words to their hits actually sung by others.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
North Korea Launches Rocket, Apology
North Korea has launched its rocket, defying world pressure & immediately apologizes for bringing down space station. "Sorry, but we're new at this."
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Obama Weapons Breakthrough
President Obama launches effort to reduce nuclear arms at NATO summit saying we need to cut down to only 100 times the fire power to kill everybody on earth, that 1000 times is ridiculous.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
NY cops find Italian speaking kids living in sewers
The kids pop out of toilets and bite elderly people on the butt. The problem is growing larger, since most old people do not want to act against kids.
written by Aspartame Boy, 05 April 2009
Natalie Maines: "The Dixie Dude"
Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines has completely cut off her hair. She says that she will not grow it back until her band has a top ten hit [Okay cue the tons of laughter in the background].
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
Michelle and Carla Exchange This For That
The American and French "First Ladies" exchanged gifts. Michelle Obama gave Carla Bruni Sarkozy an American Gibson guitar and Mrs. Sarkozy gave Mrs. Obama a French tickler.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
The Artist Formerly Known As Queen
Queen Latifah has revealed that she will be changing her name to King Latifah for obvious reasons.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
Ozzy: "Ssssoooolllldddd"
Ozzy Osbourne told a reporter that all of his life he has had a secret desire to be an auctioneer.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
The Black Crayola Crayon Is Safe
Binney & Smith, the makers of Crayola Crayons have stated that there is no truth to the rumor that they are dropping the black crayon and replacing it with a Barack crayon.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 05 April 2009
Stuck In Hiatal Hernia
Doctors administering an MRI on the 72-year-old Utah man last month abruptly stopped the exam to tell him there seemed to be something in his face. Right after the MRI, he coughed up a six inch penis.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
It All Balances Out!
A U.S. Senate vote rejected an effort to put climate-change legislation on a fast track, making it harder to put limits on greenhouse gas emissions. On the other hand,755 factory closings should help.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
13 Million Cheering Obama On!
Unemployment soars to 8.5 percent; 13 million jobless have time to sit at home and cheer on The Obama Miracle on TV daily.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Small $167 Billion Mistake
Bailing out financial sector will cost taxpayers $167 billion more than anticipated, says Congressional Budget Office, but that's only $2 a day for six hundred years, less than a pack of cigarettes.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
Now Something's Wrong Here
South Carolina six-foot seven-inch tall man's corpse was apparently cut to fit coffin. The family became suspicious when coffin was only six foot long.
written by Bureau, 05 April 2009
