Al Sharpton Informs Somoli Pirates...
...that they should have avoided hijacking the Alabama. "As every black person in the South knows, you stay the hell out of Alabama."
written by Jill The Shill, 13 April 2009
White House Dog Bo has "First Accident" on Oval Office carpet
Reporters scramble to take the first pictures and be the fastest ones to get it to their media outlets.
written by Jalapenoman, 13 April 2009
'Speedophile' caught in Norway
A man from Norway was caught driving erratically on a motorway while having sex. "I was just in my girlfriend's vulva when all of a sudden the police came across me!" He said today.
Study: 90% experience decrease in marital satisfaction after
baby is born. Recommend sharing a tit each.
Motor Trend says new General Motors/Segway small car could go on a wild spinout when going around curves. Warn customers of the new Puick to take it slow at first.
Playboy Readership Up
Playboy Magazine says it's readership is up 50% this year, jumping from 1 percent to 1.5 percent. Editor credits more cartoons.
Richard Dribbles Quits
That's right! Embarrassed to be any longer associated with the pathetic quality of the 'Snippets' feature, Mr Dribbles is taking early retirement.
written by richard dribbles, 13 April 2009
Gordon Brown smears smears
A bloke in the club told me that, Gordon Brown, is to write to lots of MPs about their smear tests was something like that!
The 91-Year-Old Pogo Sticker
A 91-year-old man traveled on a pogo stick from New York City to Philadelphia, which is a distance of about 78 miles. When asked to comment on how he felt, he replied, "I'm, fi-fi-fi-fi-fine."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 April 2009
Lindsay Lohan Goes Red
Lindsay Lohan fresh from being dumped by her "Boyfriend" Samantha Ronson is reportedly telling some of her close friends that she wants a "Real Man."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 13 April 2009
Front Page News
Eastern Kentucky hillbilly shoots down man flying in lawn chair and balloons. Has photo taken alongside dead alien.
Should Be Ashamed
Elderly couple aboard Disney Cruise Ship kicked out of shuffleboard championship after admitting to steroid use.
Sounds Like A Lot Of Bull
Re-enactors for The Battle of Bull Run during the War Between The States announced that they will be heading to Pamplona, Spain this year for the Annual Running of the Bulls!
Astronaut admits that close call of space junk caused him to launch a turd into space, he has been reassured and highly recommended for going where no man has gone before.
New U.S. Attitude
Only 53% in U.S. now say that capitalism is better than
socialism. 75% ask "What is socialism, capitalism? Anything to do with the malls?"
Iraqi Shoe-Thrower Jail Term Reduced
Iraqi man who threw shoes at President Bush given earlier release after promising to begin gellin' with Dr. Scholls insoles.
Power Grid Already Hacked
U.S. government say they fear that spies have already hacked into our power grid as new spiral, long-lasting bulbs popping like firecrackers.
Obama Recommends Refinancing
President Barack Obama urges homeowners to refinance homes, perhaps over a 100-year, three generation period, while rates are low.
"I can eat pizza again after 10 years"
Ellie Banks, who suffered acid reflux, had to give up spicy food for 10 years to stop the ailment worsening. Now she can once again enjoy eating the same pizza. It is a bit cold by now!
Iran Hanging Tough
Iran's President Ahmadinejad once again defies the west over nuclear reactors, salmonella factories.
Drivers to be offered £2,000 to scrap cars in effort to boost ailing motor industry as old cars begin to disappear from junkyards.
Make-Up Sales Up
Make-up sales beat the credit crunch as women put on a brave face to banish the gloom, worry-wrinkles, common old everyday homeliness.
Tory MP Accuses Brown
Brown is at the heart of this scandal, says Tory MP accused of one-night stand in spin doctor's vile sex, cannibalism, baby-seal killing smear emails
All Good Things Must End Sometimes
Scientists say they now understand more about how the human body responds to pleasurable touch, after conclusion of 25-year study involving 250,000 volunteers.
Dealing With Pirates
The captain of a US ship taken hostage by Somali pirates has been freed by the US navy. How can hijacks be prevented? Thus far, former U.S. VP Cheney's "Shoot them in the face" has been rejected.
Saudi's Ban "Ass"
Saudi Arabia has banned vehicle number plates which are seen as "offensive" in English when Arabic letters are given in the Latin alphabet, spelling out "ass' or "sex", etc. reports say.
PM Brown Loves You
Gordon Brown does not have to say sorry for e-mails sent by adviser smearing leading Tories, Health Sec. Alan Johnson has said. "He loves you all & love means never having to say you're sorry."
U.S. Forcing Mexico To Make Drugs
Mexico's ambassador to the US has urged America to stop the flow of guns and cash that pass into his country, fueling the country's drug wars. "Why do you force us to make these horrible drugs?"
Thai Soldiers Attack Protesters
Thai soldiers have sprayed gunfire, tear gas, hot, red curried sweet and sour sauce in latest protest.
99 Ethical Companies
United States institute names 99 top ethical companies. Couldn't come up with the 100th but still looking.
Dirty Old Easter Bunny
Easter Bunny hit with purse at the Virginia mall and told to go hide his eggs elsewhere. Let go by mall police as she refuses to go into court over an Easter Bunny.