Barack Obama Does Okay at His First G-20 Summit
Even though the other guys made fun of the first timer by taking him on a Snipe Hunt and short-sheeting his bed.
written by unknown
New Country Music Song Angering the Religious Right
Song asks the question, "If Jesus were alive today, would he wear boxers, briefs, or the man thong?"
written by unknown
Prostitution Houses Closed
Even some houses of prostitution in France have first "laid off" workers there late last year and now there have been three that have gone completely belly-up so far in 2009.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Town's Only Two Buses Collide
An Italian town which had started providing two separate buses for residents and immigrants, was shaken somewhat as the two buses collided & they had to rescue both without knowing which was which.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Charles, Camilla To Meet The Pope
Charles and Camilla are to meet the Pope for first time during official visit to Italy. "Oh, Goody", says Benedict XVI, "Two divorcees in one day. Is there maybe a blind masterbater on for tomorrow?"
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Hillary Calls Mixed With Sex Line
White House apologized today after calls to Hillary Clinton were redirected to a sex line. Most callers agreed that Bill had been a buffoon to run around on that hottie of a wife.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Superheads Paid More
Top teachers to earn up to £200,000 under new Government 'superheads' plan, the size of their heads apparently holding much larger than normal brains.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Jailed Policeman Groomed
Jail for policeman, 33, caught in undercover sting as he tried to groom girls on internet. He's now being groomed, himself, by new chums.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Prince Charles Speaks Out On Red Squirrels
Prince Charles called our endangered red squirrel to become a national mascot, saying that it was another example of our short-sightedness. Meanwhile police blocked gray squirrel protesters outside.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Cartwheel In Sky
A Cartwheel in the sky: The kaleidoscopic galaxy 500million light years from Earth could easily be where the home planet of Michael Jackson, some experts say.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
N.Korean Apparently Still Refueling That Stupid Rocket.
North Korea 'begins fuelling rocket that could hit U.S. for launch this weekend' reports all major newspapers for the tenth day in a row. That sucker may fly to Saturn, reports one unnamed scientist.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
US Jobs Fall 663,000
The number of people employed in the US fell by 663,000 in March, according to figures from the Department of Labor. The biggest jump was in bill collectors, many who broke their own kneecaps.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Israeli Female Ministers Altered
Two ultra-Orthodox Jewish newspapers have altered a photo of Israel's new cabinet by changing the two female ministers by adding beards, tall hats and long sidelocks.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Al-Qaeda European Threat
President Barack Obama has urged better use of Nato resources in Afghanistan, saying al-Qaeda is a greater threat to Europe than that of Yanni and Barry Manilow combined.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Madonna's hearing: latest
It appears that Madonna misheard the ruling adopting a child from Malawi. The law states that a prospective parent must be resident in the country for 18 months and NOT 18 minutes as Madonna thought.
written by IN SEINE, 03 April 2009
Just one letter separates Sir Fred Goodwin and Jonathan Ross
Sir Fred Goodwin and Jonathan Ross are only separated by one letter in their profession; those letters are'W' and'B' although which is which is uncertain.
written by IN SEINE, 03 April 2009
Hillary Warns Obama
Hillary Clinton warns Obama at NATO conference to beware the Bosnian airport because of sniper fire that nearly got her there.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Glass Of Wine, Fine!
A glass of red wine? It's the drink to help you think! (It's the bottle that helps you waddle).
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Suicide Gene
In search of the suicide gene: Can it really be that a death wish runs in families, family asks, as local dad kills himself, then his whole family.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Breaking Spoof Exclusive!
Revealed: The leader of The Nutty Squirrels with the big hit, "Uh Oh!" twenty-thirty years ago was none other than Richard Simmons!
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Stupid Metal Detector
Fifteen airport security guards at Heathrow Airport fired after allowing Marley's ghost to board with all of his chains.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Inflation At Everything For A Buck!
After all the jacked up prices everyone seems to be headed to the "Everything For A Buck Store", only to find all their products are now half sized!
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Jamie Oliver has proudly shown off his new daughter Petal Blossom Rainbow.
She has been named after a Sainsbury's toilet tissue multi-pack as part of his sponsorship deal.
written by Roy Turse, 03 April 2009
The story of the baby birds that can do arithmetic was faked, admit researchers in Italy.
They cheated by using a 'chick magnet' to move the baby birds around.
written by Roy Turse, 03 April 2009
Posh At Wembley
Posh is back in shoulder pads and high heels at Wembley to see her hubby play but not before getting into a catfight with Elton John who was wearing the same outfit.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
NATO Off To Hairy Srart
Obama, Sarkozy and the rest of the Gang of Twenty Circus arrive in Strasbourg as NATO summit kicks off with a visit from Britney & Her Traveling Hooha
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Osbourne Show "Pathetic"
Slated! Sixteen American TV stations refuse to air Osbourne family's new show because it's 'pathetic'. "Never stopped them before", states Ozzy.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Coleen Nolan Sees Into Future
I'm in the mood for giving up smoking: Coleen Nolan vows to quit after seeing into her future and seeing herself as Marley, carry his chain-smoking habit.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Fiona Bruce Doesn't Like Mirror
I don't like what I see in the mirror, says Fiona Bruce. I wish they would bugger off back to Stephen King or whoever sent them forth.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Fisher: So Cold In There
Sound Of Music star Connie Fisher tells how her brief encounter with a UFO and probing aliens caused her to sing her fool head off!
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Obama In A Fog
Thick fog forces Obama's armoured limousine into London's rush hour traffic where he's given traditional "salutes".
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Obama: G20 Meeting Historic!
U.S. President Barack Obama has hailed the Gang of Twenty summit as historic! "No one has ever placed her arm around the Queen like that in public before!"
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
S. Africa: Courageous Baby Steps
South Africa's leader Kgalema Motlanthe has said the G20 or "Gang of Twenty" summit had taken some decisive and courageous baby steps but they could have forked over a little more money.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Scientists create robot
Scientists have created an ideal colleague - a robot that performs hundreds of repetitive experiments. However, God has beaten them to it - he calls it a MAN!
written by norma snockers, 03 April 2009
Was G20 A Success?
Was the G20 summit a success? "A modern day miracle", say Liberals. "Gone to hell in a handbasket", say Conservatives. "Usual pompous crap" say most.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
U.S. Clarifies Stand On Climate Change
"The US must balance science with what is politically & technologically achievable on climate change", America's lead negotiator said today. "There, that's confusing enough for now", in aside to aid.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Blacklist Out
The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development has (OECD) published its blacklist of non-cooperative tax havens. Congress, Big Oil and Hollywood quickly take notes.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Malawi Court Denies Madonna Adoption
A Malawian court has ruled that US pop star Madonna has failed in her bid to adopt a second child from the country, but won't rule out a third.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Security Very High For NATO
Security high for NATO conference. Protester spikes guard's gatorade and they're all drunk as lords.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Obama To Visit Normandy
President Obama to visit Normandy for D-Day anniversary. He'll be the first U.S. president to do that since George W. Bush back in 2008, almost a year ago.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Santana For Legalizing Pot
Barack Obama brushed off a question about legalizing pot in his online town hall, but guitarist Carlos Santana says he wishes he would consider it. Pat Boone is against it and Tommy Chong just grins.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Hillary's X-Rated Phone Number
People who called Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's number instead got a phone sex service. Hillary's hubby, Bill, meanwhile remarked, "I did not have sex with that phone service."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 April 2009
It's Back: Immigration Heats Up
A problem President hasn't addressed yet is the confusion over immigration in the U.S. He will have to decide just what the U.S. policy is, on how many of our people can go to Mexico seeking jobs.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Medvedev Really, Really Likes Obama
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev likes President Obama and calls him, "My new comrade." Obama responds by saying that he likes Medvedev and calls him, "My new bro."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 April 2009
The Fat Sweet'N Low Rats
Research studies show that rats who ate Sweet'N Low gained a lot of weight. Rats who ate Equal did not gain any weight, but they exhibited a strong tendency to bite the research studiers.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 April 2009
Hey, Where Did All The Incas Go???
The Incas said that the Quinoa Seed was one of the healtiest food products on the planet. Okay...so how come there are no more Incas?
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 April 2009
The Smartest Cereals In The World
The Post Cereal Company in an effort to compete with Kellogg's Smart Start Cereal plans on introducing Post's Uncategorically Smarter Start Cereal.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 April 2009
Nicolas "French Fry" Sarkozy vs. Hu "Fire Drill" Jintau
President Obama broke up a heated conversation between French President Nicolas Sarkozy and Chinese President Hu Jintau. Obama yelled out, "Hey dudes cut that sh*t out or else I'll call Simon Cowell"
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 April 2009
The San Francisco Treat Has Gone East
San Franciso based Rice-A-Roni is moving its corporate offices to Hackensack, New Jersey. Somehow the slogan, Rice-A-Roni, The Hackensack Treat, just doesn't quite have the same ring.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 03 April 2009
Answer To Baby's Antics Discovered
CDC: Rocket fuel chemical found in baby formula. Explains why the little tykes have been sailing across the room after a burp.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Robot Scientists Can Now Think
Newest robot scientists can think for themselves, say human scientists. "It's a breakthrough", says Scientist George Newgate. "Trouble is, hee hee..they're in there building about ten million others."
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Queen Relaxing A Bit
Michelle Obama charms queen away from protocol. Cries of "You Go Girl!" and "Whaaaaaaatsssssuuuppp?" coming from the Royal Palace.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Obama Consults Allies
President Obama took his new strategy for the war in Afghanistan on Friday to NATO leaders reluctant to commit significant new forces. "We're getting our butts out of there too", stated the President.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Dollar obsolete - Amero to go into force April 1
As reported in the Wall Street Journal, who references TheSpoof.com, who references the Wall Street Journal: Oops, could we have an infinite loop here?
written by Aspartame Boy, 03 April 2009
Actor's Rehearsal This Weekend
Reports are coming in that a couple dozen actors are now on their way to Hollywood to join others in rehearsal for the upcoming Actor's Strike.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Bridge To Nowhere, Home Sweet Home
Congressman Stephen Spruiell, who included the famous "Bridge To Nowhere" pork in an earlier bill, proudly points to the eleven families now living under it.
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
Maybe Next Weekend
Local man's plan to turn his whole life around and give it a fresh new start, beginning this coming weekend, is ruined by news of "The Simpson's Weekend Marathon."
written by Bureau, 03 April 2009
