The BBC are to reintroduce 'Letter from America'
The BBC have announced that they will reintroduce 'Letter from America' to be presented by Matt Frei. The French, however, will be transmitting their own show called 'A French Letter from America'.
written by IN SEINE, 18 April 2009
Titanic memento for auction
A piece of ice from the very same iceberg that sunk the White Star cruise liner, Titanic in April 1912 is to be put up for auction this week. It was kept in a freezer for the past 97 years.
written by IN SEINE, 18 April 2009
GM: Bankruptcy Likely
General Motors today announced the initiation of contingency plans as CEOs carefully packed their golden parachutes.
written by Mr. Lizard, 18 April 2009
Obama Appoints Mexican Drug Advisors
Barack Obama has officially appointed new ambassadors to Mexico to specifically keep an eye on the recent drug wars that threaten to overflow into US. Cheech & Chong left for Mexico City this morning.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Happy Birthday Clarence
American lawyer, Clarence Darrow turned 152 Saturday and celebrated with just a couple of lawyer friends. "Things have really changed in the past 125 years" chirped the famous "Monkey Trial" attorney.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Hookers On Their Own
New York City's Mayor Bloomberg announced this morning that the city can no longer afford to provide a pension plan for the city's hookers.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Old Ladies Protest Britney
Group of old ladies protesting Britney's Circus irritates star by sitting and crocheting on front row until she cracks and walks off stage.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Liverpool Player Suspended
Liverpool player suspended after being spotted 'laughing and dancing' during Hillsborough memorial service. "So I got snackered, thought it was like an Irish wake."
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
MP's Wife Angry
'They even stripped the sheets from the marital bed': Wife of MP Damian Green tells of the day anti-terror police raided her home. "Also used the wrong starch before returning them."
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Hollywood Avoids Strike
The threat of a damaging strike in Hollywood has receded with negotiators for the studios and actors announcing a deal to end their play dispute.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Citigroup Bank Nets Profit
Citigroup, which has reported its first quarterly net profit in nearly two years, becomes the latest US bank to see an improvement in its performance, admits to winning Lotto.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
"Netanyahu No Partner For Peace"
Israel's PM Benjamin Netanyahu is not a partner for peace unless he backs a Palestinian state replacing the nation of Israel, the Palestinian Authority's top negotiator said yesterday.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Tiananmen Square Remembered
Patra Li Yim-tung was a newborn when Chinese students were camping out for democracy on Tiananmen Square, & were crushed by tanks of the People's Liberation Army, shows photo of dad in 30-foot casket.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
World's Tallest Chinese
The world's tallest man has been discovered in China, after he attended hospital for surgery. Niphilim Chai should be back on his feet by next weekend. Surgery removed small slingrock from forehead.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Bolivian Football Viagra
A Bolivian football team's former physiotherapist confesses he gave players the sex drug Viagra to help them play at high altitude in the main city, leading to the rape of five on the opponent team.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Officer Being Probed
A third incident involving a police officer during the G20 protest in London has resulted in the officer being probed by Saucer #36 from Ashtar.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Ben & Jerry's New Ice Cream
Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream has just come out with its latest ice cream flavor. It's called Ben & Jerry's Nutty Talibananas
written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
The Somali Pirate Leader's Favorite Cereal
The leader of the Somali Pirates, Captain "X" has revealed that his favorite breakfast cereal is, "Cap'N Crunch."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
Poland's Polish Problem
The Polish Unemployment Commission (PUC) has just officially announced that Poland now has more unemployed people than it has people who do not have a job.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
ABC's New Police/Cook TV Show
ABC will be premiering its newest television sit-com soon. The show stars two brothers; one a police officer and the other a restaurant cook. The show is titled, "Mac & Cheese."
written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
The Happy and Unhappy Cereal
The New England Cereal Commission has just named Cheerios as the world's happiest cereal. The commission has also named the world's unhappiest cereal...Shredded Wheat.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
And There Go The Cookies.
The nation's bad economic situation has just claimed another victim. Reports are saying that The First International Bank of Connecticut is foreclosing on Pepperidge Farm.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
The Aunt Jemima Name Is Gone With The Wind
The Aunt Jemima Pancake Company in an effort to get away from stereotyping has decided to change its name to The Aunt Oprah Pancake Company.
written by Abel Rodriguez, 18 April 2009
Obama Seeks New Beginning
President Barack Obama has said the US seeks a "new beginning" with Cuba and an "equal partnership" with all the nations of the Americas, going back to Columbus. Indian throws moccasins.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Bunch Of Hard Heads
Sri Lanka has rejected a fresh appeal by the UN to give civilians more time to leave a safe zone in the north-east, even after the UN Nude Dancers For Peace performance, the defense secretary says.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Mercenary Gang Caught
Two members of a mercenary gang said to have plotted to kill Bolivian President Evo Morales were veterans of the Balkan wars of the 1990s and trampling crowd at last December's WalMart reports say.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Another Pirate Attack
Those rascal Somalian pirates hi-jack cruise ship again, wave their privates at the tourists and jump back in boats after having several pix taken with those aboard.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
American Journalist Jailed
An Iranian-American journalist branded a US spy has been jailed for eight years by Iran after a brief trial held behind closed doors. Fight between several head jailers leaves ten dead, fifty injured.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Acid Spill In Ohio
A large hydrochloric acid spill at Ohio plant that makes chemical additives spawned a huge vapor cloud that has dissipated, officials said. No injuries were reported, mostly because victims paralyzed.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
The Big Squeeze
Solar panels find it hard to squeeze water from the desert this past week. IRS also finds it hard to squeeze blood from 303 million American turnips this past April 15th.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Week Of Change
Analysis: Week of change for Obama. Also for many American who shit their pants every time he opened his mouth to old enemies who hate us.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Agency Heads, Budget Cuts
President Obama asking agency heads for budget cuts, has already received his horse's head from Gambinos.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Obams Opens Speech With Joke
At a summit, Obama offers partnership with South, Central Americas and humor, opening with the famous Rodney Dangerfield joke, "Now you take my country...please."
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Spring Storm Weakening
A spring storm was weakening after dumping up to 3 feet of snow on the foothills west of Denver, dumping only 2 and a half feet of solid ice on Wyoming & Idaho but could pick up strength later.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Silence Not Always Golden
A study using new imaging technology found "silent" heart attacks may be far more common, and more deadly, than suspected, U.S. researchers said Friday. However, silent killer farts can be even worse.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
President Obama Raising The Dead!
President Obama raises the dead: As the core surviving members of the Grateful Dead, once the world's biggest concert draw, barrels once again across the country for the first time in five years.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Heard This One Before
Buffeted by millions of digital scans every day, federal officials are looking for hackers, not to prosecute them, but to pay them to secure the nation's networks. Free computers at police station.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Pirates Attack Again
NATO frees 20 fishermen as pirates attack another tanker, this time making off with with only a few bottles of rum.
written by Bureau, 18 April 2009
Somali pirates kidnap Britains Got Talent
Somali pirates have captured the TV production Britains Got Talent and moved the whole show to Mogadishu, the Somalian capital. Future contestants must perform Somali folk songs accompanied by a gun.
written by whatinthe world, 18 April 2009
President Obama Appoints a New Czar
President Obama has appointed Vladimir Putin as the new Czar of the Russian Federation. Oops, the president is a little late as Vladimir has already appointed himself Czar!
written by Philbert of Macadamia, 18 April 2009
