Written by Skews Me

Wednesday, 20 June 2007

image for Experimental preschool creating near geniuses
little learning machines

The experimental preschool Head First uses the latest research in neurobiology, cognitive science, and learning theory to accelerate the development of children in its care.

Founded five years ago by Head First Labs, the schools have been sprouting up in gated communities across the nation.

Babies as young as 1 year old are introduced to programmed stimulation, covering a wide range of activities from image recognition to song memorization to motor skills proficiency.

"The classes have been an astounding success," said a Head First spokeswoman. "Our kids are testing off the charts."

"I never knew just how much information a young child actually absorbs," said a proud Head First mother. "I feel bad for the other kids who don't get this kind of early education."

Copyright © 2007, SkewsMe

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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